Dogs of the Sand
by Agatha Molina
Summary: What would you do, if only with the skills you have now, you were a Genin girl in the Inuzuka clan? After Kegawa Inuzuka's mother and aunt are fed up with the lack of progress with her violent dog, Kikamaru, they send her away to train a dog by herself, pay all the years she did nothing and become an honored Inuzuka dog master.
1. Leave

It was midnight, and I was pretending to be sleeping. My mother and my aunt, Tsume, were arguing about my relationship with my dog. It has been three years since I got it, and I couldn't create a nice friendship like others in my family. I was a disgrace to the Inuzuka clan.

After a couple of minutes since the last scream, my room's door opened quietly, letting the light of the hallway illuminate my red eyes. My mother just looked by the gap, and said to my aunt, who was next to her.

"But she's only fifteen…"

"Fifteen years to throw away. Her relationship never developed! She needs to work!" Tsume said with her fierce voice. I opened my eye, but pretended. She noticed. "Get up, Kegawa! I knew it was a mistake when your mother first said it would be fine waiting for Shiromaru to have puppies! I knew you should have gotten yourself a mate when you were a kid!"

I immediately opened and got up like she said, while my mother gazed with jaded eyes. That phrases hurt her decision.

"What do you want me to do?" I asked containing my tears.

"Show some progress! We've taken you to every class we know to focus! Why can't you just solve it?"

"Maybe it's settled! Maybe we just can't get along! It's not my fault!"

Tsume violently pointed her claw to my chest.

"What are you saying, Kegawa?! Generations and generations of this clan, and YOU can't get along with your mate!? You need to focus only in Kikamaru now!" She threw away my notebooks where I used to draw, and then my books and cards.

"Stop, aunt!" I tried to stop her, but my mother held my arm. "She's destroying everything!"

"I know." My mother said. "It's for your own good, we have a decision."

I looked at her, starting to cry desperately. "What do you mean? I'm trying! I swear!"

"You can't even command Kikamaru..." Tsume said laughing.

"We had a conversation. We consulted your cousin, and he also thinks it would be good if you travel to become stronger."

"On my own?" I said wiping my tears. "And what does Kiba know about training dogs? He was lucky!"

"With Kikamaru, just like Kiba's friend is doing. Get out of the village, learn how to live by yourself, and come back strong and established with her."

I looked by the window, where Kikamaru should be. She never slept in my room. Instead, she used to go out at night with other animals in the woods. Always leaving me alone.

"Kikamaru will hate me forever! She's ungrateful and egocentric! I will never come back like th-"

I stopped speaking when Tsume slapped my face.

"How dare you say these things to our dog? She's worth more than you, while she has fangs and claws! We don't even deserve dogs! Know your place!" I rubbed my face to reduce the instant pain.

"You're leaving tomorrow" My mother said, giving me a bag of enough money for months, I suppose. "Only come back when you're stronger, getting along with Kikamaru and working together. You will never get another dog to substitute her, and if you fail, you're out of this family. The wolves will not be able to take you as an Inuzuka." She let my arm go, then headed to the door.

"Wait!" I shouted, paralyzed by the decision. "Where? Where am I supposed to go?"

"I don't know. Somewhere far enough."

I wasn't ready. I wasn't even believing this was happening to me. All because of my stupid egocentric dog. Kikamaru has never been nice to me, at all. I gave her food, shelter , cared when sick, and she still despises me. I don't even know where to find her.

I stood looking outside, figuring out what I was going to do in the next day.

"Kikamaru... what have you done?"

I didn't know what should I prepare. I took the backpack in rage and put in a dog bag, my notebooks and pills. Should be enough to make me sleep a little more comfortable, while I thought in a million plans to revenge myself from the Inuzukas. It wasn't my fault at all! I hated my life with Kikamaru, with my ravenous aunt and my naive mother. She believes so much in what her sister says, just because she's alpha. I know I didn't progress since I graduated, but this was too rabid.

I couldn't help myself from rolling my eyes.

But... seriously, I should find my dog.

I was so tired.

I breathed, inspired, 1, 2, 3, attack!

Stop!

Expired.

"Calm down, Kegawa, or your pelt will turn gray."

I turned around, frightened.

"What?" My cousin said making fun of me.

"Kiba, what are you doing in my window?

"I was just listening to my mom saying those things."

"Well, she said now you know how I should train Kikamaru..." I said looking at Akamaru, who was on Kiba's head.

"I will give some advices to you. First, stop thinking it's Kikamaru's fault. She will never want to be your friend if you put all the blame on her. Both of you need to trust." He gave me a chain long enough to guide a person without choking.

"Why did you give me this?" I asked looking at the collar in the end.

"Find out the trust." He laughed, and Akamaru barked.

"Can't Akamaru just speak with her? To trust me?"

"Why would she listen to anyone?" He said petting his dog.

Kiba was right.

Why would anyone trust me? I failed in everything possible. I don't even know how I graduated to become a Genin without Kikamaru. This was so messed up.

"The other advice... I was going to give you... Your mother said you should figure out somewhere far, right?" He smiled as he wanted me away for a long time.

"Yes, she said. I have no idea where."

"Think big, cousin, somewhere different. Not the woods outside the Leaf. But safe"

I thought for a moment, but nothing came. I expressed confusion when he rolled his red eyes.

"Sand, Kegawa. Go to the Sand Village!"

My heart stopped, or at least I felt something like it. I would never think about leaving the Village for such a long time. Well, he was so adventurous in comparison to me. It was just natural.

"Don't you think Sand is a bit... dangerous? I've heard that a beast boy is there."

He widened his eyes, and delayed to speak. I guess my comment was kind of… dumb.

"Oh, I can't believe! You are fifteen, Kegawa! Twelve I was fighting against The Sound! In Chounin's Tests! You can survive some weeks with Kikamaru!" He face-palmed. It wasn't my fault if I was so lost in everything. Maybe a little independence would be really nice. My anger for this situation was starting to reduce. "And, there's no beast boy. The guy you referred saved my life. And everyone who was by my side. He's our friend."

"I'm sorry, I didn't know…" I lowered my head, and Kiba entered in my room.

"Akamaru, put important things in her bag." He pointed to my bag, and in no time Akamaru started to take all dog stuff into it. I was so jealous how they get along. Kikamaru would have eaten everything.

"Well, have you decided? Are you going to find Kikamaru? Or hope she will appear in the morning?" In the middle of my cousin's phrase, I was already going back to bed to sleep. He just bit my cheek, and before he left, he said.

"Hope you'll be okay, we care for you." And Akamaru barked.


	2. Travel

The morning came, and my eyes barely opened when I heard Kikamaru's nails on the floor getting closer. She stared at me with her cold green eyes, and I pretended to be sleeping.

She barked the first time. I thought she was hungry, so I pointed to my bag, where was her food. Instead of going to get it, she bit my hand.

I screamed, and she let it go.

"Why do you do this to me? I did nothing!"

Kikamaru looked at my eyes growling, and I retracted to my sheets. Then, she left the room. I immediately got up to take a shower, get ready and eat breakfast. When my mother watched my progress to leave, checked what I was taking with me. She looked worried, much more than Tsume would ever be with me.

"Did you decide where are you going?" Mother asked while I grabbed an apple.

"Yes." I bit the fruit. It wasn't pleasant. Tasted like... sand.

"Oh, and where?" Tsume got ready to hear my answer. Probably waiting for a dumb one.

"The Sand Village."

"And did you choose this by yourself?" My mom asked, doubting my capabilities. I didn't notice Kiba spent the night with us, and was right behind them. He gestured a "no" for me, which I thought it was wrong, since it was his idea. I didn't choose with my own wisdom.

"I... chose by myself." I would regret later if I didn't listen to Kiba.

"It's a nice decision, I'm impressed." Tsume said, showing her teeth in a smile. "Allies, big city, far, safe and has training fields. I'm glad you're starting to think. I almost thought you were about to choose a forest in the middle of nothing. Then die by natural causes." She laughed.

"Yeah, it's like, who would think like this?" I tried to laugh swiftly. I can see how much I have to work in myself.

"Are you ready? Time to move! It's a three day travel."

I got up, taking my bag, and searching for Kikamaru. This would be the hardest part. I searched all the rooms, the backyard and front yard, but there was no signs. I don't think asking my family would be a good idea, so I just walked to the gates with Kiba, Tsume and mother, in hope she appeared.

"Where's your dog? Did you forget the most important part!?" Tsume said with a loud voice.

"I-I thought she would be here!"

"She got this, Tsume." My mother put her hand on Tsume's shoulder. My eyes sparkled as I saw my mother believed in me.

I went to search for Kikamaru, and in the center of the village, I saw Kikamaru with other dogs. Probably her gang. I stepped closer, but I confess I was afraid of being bitten. Kikamaru saw me, and she was about to leave.

"Don't leave me, Kikamaru. I need you!" I tried my harshest tone, and all the other dogs looked at her. They all belonged to the Inuzukas, making it natural to hope she obeyed like everyone, her master. I'm so glad they didn't know how incapable I was in reality.

Kikamaru found herself in the need to follow me. I wonder if the dogs pressured her as much as my family. That would be a viral cycle of anger.

"We're going to travel. Please, coop with me, so it'll be fast."

Kikamaru barked, monotonously. She said "where".

"To the Sand Village."

Now her bark was more powerful. "Why".

"Because we have to get stronger, together. We need to make the progress we did not make in those years. You understand?"

She didn't bark at all, but I think she was just trying to ignore the fact that I was actually trying to do something about us.

We headed to the gate, where my mother waved, and my aunt stood crossing her arms. I think I was only doing my duty, nothing special for someone without issues.

"I know you are going to travel to independence, but write us when you arrive. Just to make sure you're not being killed in the way, so we won't make any hopes of your arrival." My mother said. This is the kind words to the people loved by the Inuzukas.

I nodded, then we started to make our way.

Kikamaru followed me without arguing, something I was glad. Maybe we were already starting to trust each other, as nobody got lost and she waited for me. However, I knew part of it was just because her family were pressuring to follow me, so if she just turned back without me, both of us would be gotten into an issue.

When the Sun started to go down, Kikamaru slowed down. We were exhausted, so out of shape, and we needed to eat and drink water. However, I didn't want to waste our bottled source if there was a chance to find fresh water, so before we rest, we searched for a river, and fruits. I wouldn't be able to hunt in this state, so unless Kikamaru had energy to find any meat, we would be satisfied with some berries. Not poisonous, please. We quickly found the smell of fresh water, surrounded by bushes with plenty of berry species. In the middle, poisonous, that of course we didn't get close.

"We are almost in the middle of the way, Kikamaru. I'm glad we are making it without problem." I smiled at her sitting next to the riverside, while she drank in the river.

She barked. "How much"

"More two days."

Kikamaru laid down by my side, and quickly started to snooze. I was amazed. She looked just like a puppy. I know that she was only by my side because we didn't have fire to heat, but the scene of her being comfortable enough to sleep by my side in such a short time was motivating me to continue.

We napped, I bet, for three hours, when we heard something between the bushes. We didn't know how to fight to protect ourselves, so we quickly took our things and ran to resume the trip. We weren't rested enough, but we were able to continue the way for one day and a half. The less long rests we did, surely more stimulated we'd be to continue and sometime arrive at a good hotel, with good food and a nice bedroom. While we jumped tree by tree, I wondered if what moved between the bushes were something really scared, or just a rat or bunny. We could have eaten meat if it were an animal like these.

After a monotonous rest and trees starting to be less visible, we knew that The Sand was getting very close. I could hear Kikamaru's breathing, showing how much we should train to be able to travel again without suffering from the past. The grass started to turn into sand, and a few hours later, didn't even have trees to jump on.

"I guess we have to walk to get there..." Kikamaru heard me, and barked mumbling. We knew it would be harder to find water, so we drank as much we could in every river we found, but the desert was so dry for a Leaf Villager, that I was questioning if Kikamaru would make it without complications. Her breathing was heavy.

We could see the gate, and it wasn't far. I couldn't tell if that was a mirage either, but if we ran we'd faint. So, we looked at each other while walking.

"Oh, we'll so out of shape, Kikamaru! I can't believe Kiba did this when he was twelve!"

Kikamaru was too tired to pay attention to me. If she were smaller, I'd be able to put her on my head.

"I'm sorry..."

Kikamaru barked three times. "No, tired, water." Took sometime until I realize what she said. Nothing I didn't know.

When we arrived at the gate, we tried our best to look like Genins in shape, full of wisdom and energy.


	3. Run

The first thing I thought when we arrived in the town was to quickly rent a room, but I didn't know where to search. The houses were different from my village, and the sellers too. I don't know if it was beautiful or strange, but I liked it. Kikamaru didn't seem to like it, having little rocks between her claws all the time. My poor dog.

I found a place where surely was a hotel, so I headed to the attendant. She was a beautiful girl with brown hair and purple eyes, and saw me with a warm smile. They knew how to make a customer feel comfortable.

"I'd like to rent a room. Do you have any?"

"Of course, we have plenty of available rooms this week! How many people?"

I looked at Kikamaru, who was outside looking at the new people. I just hoped she wouldn't attack anyone or take the snack they were eating. People there seemed not to be used to see a free dog. I confess I don't recommend either.

"Just me and my dog."

The woman made a funny face, while she tried to look frustrated.

"I'm sorry, ma'am, but dogs aren't allowed."

What.

I didn't think that there was a possibility that they wouldn't accept my dog. I always saw her like a person, not an animal.

"Why...?"

"Ma'am, we can't guarantee what dogs will do in our rooms. I know that maybe your dog is well trained, but unfortunately we can't risk."

If she only knew Kikamaru isn't trained. Looks fair. She never slept with me anyways.

"I'll take a room for one, then. I'll find another place for my dog."

"Okay. What's your name, ma'am?"

"Inuzuka Kegawa."

The attendant got excited.

"Oh, the Inuzuka clan! I heard about your brother, Kiba. He and his friends are quite famous." She gave me the room keys as she spoke.

"Ah, he's not my brother." I faked a smile. "Just one of my cousins." My teeth appeared behind my smile, but my eyebrows didn't lift. I think the smile I gave her were more like a disgust one.

I got out of the hotel thinking in one million things to address my cousin. Famous? Twelve! I know he was the highlight of this generation, but famous was just too much.

Then, I looked at Kikamaru. What to say? How would I explain she cannot enter?

She barked at me. "What". I waited some second to say something, because I didn't want to mess things more. We were just starting to get along.

"Kikamaru... Are you going to sleep in my room or going out? Because in this hotel, you can't enter." I just hoped she understands... "They cannot trust you. I know it's not right, but here's different."

Kikamaru looked at me, analyzing what I just said, and ran away. I impulsively ran after her, even knowing I didn't have anything more to say. I shouted. "We can find somewhere!"

Kikamaru didn't seem to listen, running through the yellow houses made of something that reminded sand. I don't think it's really sand, it would be too obvious. I wasn't used to run the fastest I could in sandals on sand and small rocks. It wasn't pleasant at all. I was starting to get tired, more than her after seeing the Village kilometers away.

I almost got her, drifting away from the people who were in the way. The kids shouted in emotion of seeing a dog, and the older ran to be out of the way. We were creating a chaos in that part of the town.

"I'm sorry!" I periodically said to everyone, including Kikamaru. I just hoped to not hurt anyone, or make someone drop their cabbages. This was the standard in a pursing inside a town.

She turned left when the hallway we were running turned into a dead end, and all I saw was my dog bumping into a man. She growled, like she was about to bite his face.

My heart froze for a moment, and my cheeks got the hottest I've ever felt. The man didn't say a word, looking into Kikamaru's green eyes, calmly. Then, something happened, and the sand from the ground wrapped my dog's whole pelt, and thrown her to his side. I could hear her crying, as the man didn't move a finger.

"Kikamaru!" I screamed as I ran to help her breathe, taking the sand of her face. The guy who was fallen, got up and monotonously stared at us. I could feel his vision going from Kikamaru's eyes, to my Leaf symbol on my arm. I wanted to apologize so badly, but I didn't have words to say as I was extremely nervous.

"Leaf...? What are you doing here?"

After cleaning and having sure my dog could get up safely, I checked the man who was talking to us. He was tall, but wasn't a man, more like a teenager, in his sixteen, seventeen. I don't know. His hair was red, with a kanji scar in his forehead. Also, he had something carrying sand on his back.

"Y-yes, we are from Leaf village."

He stood his vision in me, waiting for my answer.

"I'm sorry, mister! We were sent to train. Our home wasn't making any progress..."

"I see." The red haired looked behind him, seeing the chaos we made. "Why did you choose to create a chaos here?"

"Uh..." Now I didn't know if I should say what really happened, or what Kiba gestured to me to say. Anyway, I don't think I needed to lie to a stranger. "My cousin advised me, if I should train anywhere..."

"Who is he?" His expressionless face continued to view the details of the scene, and finally reached my face. I guess he noticed my clan painting.

"Maybe you already heard about him, Kiba Inuzuka. Eventually, he fought besides the beast boy that lived here." If the attendant said he was quite famous, maybe this time it would be like and advantage for me.

The guy didn't say anything, looking into my eyes. I didn't know what he was thinking. When we were about to leave, uncomfortable with the situation, he spoke with a husky and harsh voice.

"I need you both out of the village as soon as possible."

I widened my eyes, and Kikamaru growled to him. Suddenly, he stared at Kikamaru's eyes, making her hide between my legs, and slowly walk away. He had the same green selfish eyes.

"And with what authority do you have to demand it?" I said provoking, and was surprised in how calm he stood.

"I'm the beast boy you mentioned." The red haired sighed. "I know your cousin."

My heart almost stopped. Where did I put myself with my big mouth? I should have listened to Kiba! Not calling a beast boy a beast boy. I'm so useless and dumb.

"I-I... sorry... I didn't-" I shut my mouth. Don't get any worse. Maybe dying here wouldn't be so horrible. Everybody said he could kill anyone just because they looked at him in a funny way.

"Just go." His voice stood the same. I couldn't obey what he ordered me to do, but I couldn't just challenge him. I needed to explain myself. Maybe he'd understand.

"I can't go back until we are strong enough! We came from so far!" I begged, without looking stupid or needy enough to lower my level. I had my ego, anyway, and even in this situation I couldn't just destroy it.

The guy stood silent for some seconds after my request, and resumed his way. I stood watching him walk away from us, and Kikamaru left her hide place behind me. She looked at me, waiting for some explanation.

"I didn't understand." I said.

We decided that the best would be ignoring his encounter, and focus on where we should train and Kikamaru would sleep. We searched for the training field, a place with enough equipment to start our journey. Then, we spent the rest of the day trying to make our calls work. It was so stupid how we couldn't work together. I threw the kunais and shurikens one million times, and Kikamaru couldn't get any of them, or dodge them right.

I confess I didn't want to see her hurt, but she wasn't cooperating.


	4. Meet

After the training, one thing I was completely sure. Kikamaru still didn't trust me enough. Most of the things I asked her to do were denied, and the way she thought it would be right, wasn't right at all for me. Like digging holes to sprint, or jumping behind the opponent. I knew she was egocentric.

We left the field frustrated, without saying anything. I don't call that a progress, but recognizing the partner. It was night, and we started to search for a nice place for Kikamaru. I don't think she was happy with this situation, but she didn't have a choice so she cooperated. Like, she was a dog, that never sleeps in my room. Why would she complain?

"Do you prefer high places or low?"

Barked one time. "High" Then, we knew we were looking for a rooftop next to the hotel. The highest building in the Sand was close, so we headed to it.

"You will be able to see everything." I said happily.

Kikamaru ignored my try to make things a little more bearable. She was tired, and wasn't comfortable with me. I knew, I knew.

"You know, this was a long day-" Kikamaru barked two times when we were climbing up the stairs to the rooftop. "attention, smell".

"What do you mean?"

We reached the top, and I gestured a question to the dog.

"What?"

She smelled something, but I didn't understand what. I let her do whatever she was doing, sat on the edge, and took my notebook to draw what I saw. The architecture of this village was impressing. All yellow, with orange light from the torches that protected the streets. It was so isolated that made me comfortable just to see it.

I started to draw the dunes behind the big fences, then the gates, and...

"Kikamaru?" I asked while I turned around. She wasn't there anymore.

I got up to search for her, looking behind the walls of the roof. Finally, I saw her climbing down to reach the sand floor, and ran away again.

I stood watching her fleeing from something, and ignored. If there was anything I knew, was that she didn't care at all for me. I didn't do anything to stop, she knew where I would be.

"I see even your dog is smarter than you." A voice echoed, making me sprint some meters behind me and shiver my spine. That voice.

I turned around, and I saw the man looking at the opposite direction. The red haired we bumped into earlier.

"What are you doing here?" I asked shyly. Today had been the most awkward day ever. I couldn't save myself from anything I did wrong.

He turned around to see me, and raised an eyebrow. My question was so dumb. I was the one invading his space, his village.

"Why aren't you going home?" He asked me calmly. "I see you are going to be a small problem for my village, so tell me."

I couldn't disrespect the Kazekage, but I was so ashamed of my story that I didn't say anything at all. He kept waiting for my answer, until he sighed.

"Do you know how the Inuzuka's clan work?" I asked, but I almost knew that he didn't. Why would he know about Leaf clans?" We have pacts with wolves and dogs. When we are kids, they give us our new partner, a puppy. He will be our partner until we die."

The man nodded. I think he already noticed this part by the name of the clan and who he already met. In the case, Kiba and me.

"My problem is, we can't change, ever. And we never liked each other, me and my dog. I stood three years ignoring my situation and trying to be a ninja without her, but we are meant to be with a dog. It's in our blood." I breathed deeply, because I was afraid I was going to cry if I told everything fast. "I cannot come back if I don't become stronger, but we hate ourselves so much..."

He listened to everything with his expressionless face.

"Just this? This is your problem?" I widened my eyes. I knew it wasn't a case of life and death, but it hurt me as much as Kikamaru. I stood silent, waiting for him to despise me ever more. "Spoiled child." He whispered.

I didn't move at all. Did I triggered the anger of the beast boy? My cheeks heated up again, and I just wanted to run away from this encounter. I was useless, I was spoiled, I kept myself out of the battle for some many years, that was impressing how I knew how to throw a shuriken. I felt retired.

"I'm not complaining. I just need to stay. I need time to work on it." He watched me retract.

"I know." He sat on the edge, just like I was when I started to draw the village. I needed to calm down if I wanted to talk to him. The more nervous I got, the more impulsively phrases I'd say.

"I liked your home." I said trying to draw a smile while gazed the blue horizon. "The desert is comfortable."

I don't know if he cared about what I said.

I don't know if I was bothering him as much as I thought.

"I'm sorry." He said.

"About what?"

"Despising your situation. Everybody has problems. Me, as a kazekage, shouldn't do this to a villager." I didn't speak. "I just, need few people here. I still don't want you here."

So, regardless of asking and opening my life to this boy, I still couldn't get a support to change his mind. I was privileged, just to have a conversation to the kazekage. Twice, in fact, and nothing was changed.

Unwanted.

"Why?"

"This place is collapsing. We need to make the people focus only in increasing the forces, not in a girl with the dog. Today was enough to see that you are gaining attention. Nobody here has a dog like that."

"So what do you suggest me to do?" I screamed. "I said I can't go anywhere else!"

He stood quiet for some minutes. The longest since I left home. I wasn't smart enough to make up a good excuse. And even if I were, I was too afraid of lying to the beast boy/kazekage. I felt like he was about to explode his inner anger in me anytime my voice sounded in his ears.

"I am going to train you."

"What?"

What was he saying? He didn't know anything about dogs. Or about me. And he should be so busy with Kazekage stuff. This was out of question for someone in his position. Why was he doing this?

"I am training some people to increase the power of our army. Just attend the trainings, and be discrete."

His plan sounded tempting. Trained by the Kazekage together with the Sand army. Kikamaru would have to accomplish, because obviously she was fearing the red haired.

"Are you sure this is possible?"

"Yes." He turned around, looking at my Leaf symbol. "Show where you came from."

I smiled to him, showing my sharp teeth. The first sincere smile since I discovered I was going to travel.

"I'm sorry, but what's your name, sir Kazekage?"

"I am Gaara of the Desert."

"Nice to meet you. My name is Kegawa Inuzuka..."

He didn't move, I guess he wasn't wondering anything more about me.

God, he looked difficult to handle.


	5. Train

The following morning arrived, and I woke up early in the hotel to send a message to my family. I found where they kept the bird carriers, and before giving the letter to the bird owner, I wrote it.

"Are you sure you will spend money to send this?" The man asked me.

"Do you think it's too formal?"

"Maybe if you used more than one phrase, besides your name..."

I didn't understand. It was clear and signed.

"Okay." I took the pen, scratched the period and added. "I arrived and I'm alive. Inuzuka Kegawa. Better?"

The man rolled his eyes.

"Course." I gave the money to him, and the bird carrier flew right to the Leaf Village direction. It would be a long way, and I hoped they would reply with an OK. Just to be sure the carrier didn't turn into somebody's lunch, my mother wasn't desperate and aunt Tsume preparing my funeral.

"What time is it?" I asked before I left the building.

"Ten and a half."

I ran as I realized the training Gaara arranged me was almost starting, and I didn't have Kikamaru with me. I haven't seen her since she fled away from him last night. The village was so big, I had to track her by her smell.

"Mom, what that purple haired girl is doing?" A boy pointed at me while I was crawling and trying to find her smell.

Sometimes the clan painting literally in my face isn't enough. I wished I had a pair of wolf ears.

"I don't know, but stay away."

Finally anything that would help me. Besides, I was starting to get closer. I felt it.

Then, a pair of legs appeared in front of me. I looked up, and I saw my mentor with his expressionless face staring at me.

"What are you doing, Kegawa?" He asked me. All he asked me was to be discreet, and now I was walking like a dog searching for my own.

"Searching for Kikamaru. I haven't seen her since last night."

"I see..." Gaara looked to my left, and I saw Kikamaru eating something sticky in a can. Disgusting. The owner of the store looked at the scene, and the dog growled holding the food. He just walked away screaming.

Gaara looked at me, disapproving my existence in that village.

"Why didn't you spend the night with her?" He asked roughly.

"The hotels don't allow dogs, don't you know?"

"No, I don't have dogs... or the need to stay in a hotel."

I tried to look smart snubbing this information, but as always, I failed.

"I won't be late, I promise." I said to him, and went to take Kikamaru from the store. I held her scruff and pulled until she dropped the can. Then, I gave her the real dog food. She refused it.

"Kikamaru, you need to eat healthy!"

She barked three times loudly. Anyone who didn't understand her would think she was threatening me, but she only said "you, eat, too".

Kegawa, the ramen eating master, was saying that my dog should eat healthy. She had a point.

With points or not, I guided Kikamaru with her scruff until we reach the training field where Gaara was starting to instruct. There was more two teachers, a blond girl with a giant fan and a boy, or man, with purple makeup showing how to use a sword correctly. They looked powerful.

There was something like fifty trainees, but there was few in Gaara's side. I can't even wonder why. Far away, I could see that the girl was the most confident of them all, holding the fan and explaining something about the wind. Seemed boring, but probably she managed to get their attention. I got closer, trying to blend with the six students in front of the Kazekage. He was talking about battle strategy.

"Do you have any questions?" The teacher asked, but nobody dared to answer. Then, he closed his eyes.

"Now make pairings, choose unsharpened weapons and fight."

I looked around, and everybody already had a duo. Maybe what I should do was go against my own dog.

I went to take a mace, but Gaara stopped me.

"Not you." He said, taking back the mace and putting back to the table. "Your training will be different."

"Why?"

"I don't know much about your clan, or your blood, but I've seen Kiba Inuzuka fighting. If you're with a dog, you won't use a weapon, will you?"

I denied with my head. He was right. We should just focus on the taijutsu and my bloodline.

"How are we going to do this?" I asked my teacher, who was thinking silently.

"General. Attack me with the intention to kill me." He ordered me and Kikamaru. She growled, but I knew that, in the bottom, she was trembling because of the incident.

We stood on our marks, where Kikamaru found herself more relaxed, and I was tense. Attacking someone, it was a long time since I fought with someone. I was afraid of getting hurt.

"Three, two, o-" The dog ran without finishing the counting. She trying to jump in a front attack, and was easily dodged. Gaara looked at me, probably wanting some explanation about what she had just tried.

Instead of waiting for my dog to come and attack together, I threw shurikens on his direction. Well, I tried to hit the target, but I almost got a dog without an eye.

"What did you try to do?" Gaara said crossing his arms in disapproval. "You need to attack together."

"I know! It's Kikamaru's fault. She ran before my signal."

"No, it's not her fault." He said. I gazed at my dog, who was bothered by the failure, then, turned back to reach my legs. She showed her sharp teeth. "She's trying to be independent because you look weak."

I stepped back, and looked at my hand.

"I know... but I don't want to get hurt." I said with a low clean voice. I wasn't able to repeat this phrase. So unprofessional.

The red haired looked like he was remembering something. He stood quietly, with closed eyes for some seconds.

"Nobody wants to get hurt." He opened his green eyes. "That's why you're training, isn't it?"

"Yes..." My voice slipped from my throat.

"Then I want you to try again." He drew his kunais while walking backwards until reached a certain distance, waiting for a melee combat. Now I knew what to do.

I breathed deeply, and tried not to think about what would happen to me. C'mon, I already fought before, I should remember.

Kikamaru looked at me, and I hoped she was like that because she was waiting for my kill command. I closed my fists, letting my claws appear.

"Three, two, one-" And Kikamaru ran again. This time I followed her, and instead of going into a front attack, we went from the sides. We both jumped in intention to stick our claws, but he countered our arms with his weapons.

"Better." He said. Then, pushed us away.

I ran to Kikamaru's side, but when I approached her to be ready to do that again, she attacked him alone, being vulnerable. He just pushed her with her belly, making her fall on the sand. Growls came, but then turned around and stood by my side.

"Don't attack him without me." I said to her, but the answer given was just a grumble. "We almost got it right."

We stood trying to attack him the rest of the day. I was glad we were attacking together, but frustrated that sometimes Kikamaru just forgot she was with me, and tried to go alone. Besides, we were just doing some basic attacks. The only difference between we and the rest of the trainees was that we were using claws and teeth, while they attacked with swords and katanas. I was dying to finally have a working jutsu with my dog, just like Kiba's Human Beast and Double Headed Wolf. All we knew until now was how to scratch a boy's face.

"Enough." He said when we fell on the ground for the last time, looking at the sky that was starting to turn orange, and then dark blue. He helped me to stand up, and gave a summary of the situation. "You are remembering your moves."

"I'm happy to see that we are making progress." I said smiling, pretending that my body wasn't aching.

He nodded, and started his way to walk away. Kikamaru was laid down, and got up just to smell my hand as we made our way to the hotel. I thought this was the greatest thing I would be feeling in my heart today.

My mind changed, and I walked a little faster to Gaara's direction.

"I forgot to say something." I spoke loud, and he stopped. Then, he turned his body to hear me. "Thank you. I don't think I would make it by myself."

He heard attentive.

"You're not alone." He said resuming his way. "Don't be late again tomorrow."

I smiled. I was feeling well, feeling grateful just like mother's day.

My mother... how was she? I hope she got my message.


	6. Trust

The next day came, and I went to see the carrier again, waiting for a response from Inuzukas. I left the hotel half an hour earlier than yesterday, having sure I wasn't going to miss the start of the lecture.

"So, any messages to Inuzuka Kegawa?" I asked the man who I paid to send the letter, on the other side of the counter.

"No, you sent it yesterday. Come back tomorrow." He said annoyed. "Averagely takes one day to arrive, one day until the person reads the message and another to receive a response."

I listened disappointed.

"But they probably received, then?"

The man nodded, and I left the establishment unsatisfied. Hope mother was anxious to write me, as Tsume was probably making fun of me, and Kiba accepting everything.

Went to search for Kikamaru again, like yesterday as well, but this time I couldn't smell her. She was probably far from the center, which meant it didn't matter if I woke up earlier, I would be equally late. In the way I stopped to buy something to eat, as I knew we wouldn't be having a break for lunch or something. We needed to work on our endurance. However, I wasn't a Sand soldier to be prepared to spend days fighting. Surely this would be a good point to work on, but not in the second day. The heat was still affecting our breathing, but as the days went, I could notice that my lungs were getting used to the dryness.

"If I were Kikamaru, where would I hide?" I thought to myself as I searched the alleys. Some people looked at me, they were still staring at my clan painting and whispering to each other things about the Leaf. I don't know if they were bad or good things, I just hoped it wasn't about Kiba. I didn't want to be a celebrity, but living in your cousin's shadow wasn't as pleasing as it should sound.

I was getting closer to the government building, where probably the Council was having meetings, and there the smell got stronger. She was around, I could feel it. However, I felt strange in that part of the village. I wasn't even a Sand villager, it felt just wrong, like a guard would take me out of there. Therefore, I looked over for a very short moment to see if Kikamaru was present in the scene, and followed where I could go. After some hallways, I finally noticed her signals, that were footprints and some broken stuff. I just expected that these objects were abandoned, because I wasn't willing to pay for my dog's destruction.

In front of a broken vase, there was an open door, where the footprints ended.

"I can't believe Kikamaru broke into somebody's house." I face-palmed while I thought if it was worth searching for her, having a chance to find a raging dweller, or worse, a raging politician.

"Kikamaru?" I screamed, without response. I heard a glass falling on the ground, so I followed the sound. The house didn't have anything special, besides the dispersed broken items. When I got to the kitchen, I saw a strange animal. I immediately froze, because I didn't even know what that was. It was like a big pig, but with horns and dark thin fur, smelling the place snorting rabidly. Also, it had a strange mark in his back, like it was supposed to be seen. I tried to exit without letting the beast notice me, but as soon as I stepped back, it lifted the head, viewing my frightened eyes. Then, I ran to the closest room and locked the door with my own strength, which was headed by the horns of the animal a couple of times. I turned around thinking where I just got myself, and all I saw was Kikamaru, getting up, probably from the nicest dream.

"What are you doing here?" I screamed to her while I kept the door from opening. "What is happening?"

Kikamaru took some seconds to realize what was happening, then stood looking at me until the pig gave up, and left the house.

She barked two times. "Know, smell."

"What do you mean?" I asked her. She said she recognize the smell of the beast, unlike me, who was just disgusted with such stink.

"Travel, river, bush."

I heard her, then slowly opened the door, checking if there was anything behind it. Nothing.

"I guess it's gone, for good." I said sighing. We got out of the house, and I stood thinking about what just happened. So, the animal had the same smell the bushes that moved had in the riverside. "Why such animal would come from so far? We were in the start of the way when we stopped the first time."

Kikamaru didn't know, she just listened to my questions while yawned. It was getting difficult for her to sleep well without a fixed house.

I wanted to ask her how she was in the way to the lecture, but something kept me away. I guess I wasn't comfortable knowing that we weren't in a fair position.

When we arrived, the trainings were already starting again. I knew we wouldn't make it again, but this time we had a better excuse. I thought about comment about the beast to my teacher, but he seemed to be much more busy with everything bigger that happens in the Sand than a fat pig breaking into houses.

"I told you not to be late, Inuzuka." He said to me disapproving me as usual.

"I know, I am sorry." I almost whispered, lowering my head in apology. Kikamaru didn't move at all. I think he was hoping she would apologize as well.

"You're not thinking equally." Gaara commented. "I was going to ask you. Did Kiba ever said or advised you, about how he was training his dog?"

I thought for some seconds, trying to remember anything he said or gave me about Akamaru and Kikamaru. They always seemed to be born trained, and the only thing that they did was to run the fastest or jump the highest everyday. Then, I remembered the night before leaving, and the collar he had given me.

While we were speaking, I noticed that someone was paying attention to us. Before I answered my teacher, I turned back to see a brown haired girl fighting against some Sand ninja with training swords. I felt she had an eye on us.

"The only thing he said was to trust, and then he gave me a collar." I said I as laughed a bit. It just sounded ridiculous.

"Can I see the collar?" He asked politely extending his hand. I quickly searched in the backpack I was holding, and gave to him.

He examined the object for a moment. I think he was figuring out how to use it in the way he wanted me to train.

"What are you thinking, sensei?"

"I know what he meant."

"Take Kikamaru for a walk?"

"Not her. You."

"What?" I stepped back. "I am the dog master, why would I-"

"Are you?" Irritated, he pointed to Kikamaru, who was totally uninterested about the conversation. She should be by my side, not laying on the sand waiting for everything to end and go home. "Then you can all go back to the Leaf Village." Gaara said with strict tone.

I gazed at the collar in his hands. Was that humiliation? I think it was, but I had to obey and trust. He was the Kazekage, and I was… somebody's daughter with some clan's painting. Hope Kikamaru would understand what this training stands for, because my leading was starting to be on her paws.

I felt the girl was still there, and it was getting a strange feeling. I let Gaara put the collar on my neck, and I blushed nervously while I felt his warm hands touching my skin. I was totally out of my comfort zone, while I knew he was still with his expressionless face. Consequently, I waited some seconds to turn around for him to see my state. When he did, gave the lead to Kikamaru's mouth. She looked at me, and I could see the wickedness in her eyes.

"How long must I be like this?"

"Until sunset." He said to me.

"How will you know I didn't take it off?" I asked naively.

Gaara sighed.

"Are you training for you, or for me?"

I stood quiet. Right again. Why am I even making questions to doubt the Kazekage?

"What should we do today, then?"

"I don't know." He said roughly, and then made his way to help the other students. I guess that, for today, we were in our own. Better. I was in Kikamaru's own. She started to walk, and all I could do was accomplish.

Don't take it off.

Don't take it off.

Trust her.


	7. Fight

I judged that, considering that Kikamaru was actually walking me without letting the leash go, she had understood what Gaara was suggesting, even know she was pretending to be bored and not interest in that conversation. I was surprised, but upset as well. The way my teacher spoke to me was too much for me to handle, I guess. I know this is all for me, but, didn't he care? He shouldn't, but I wanted some patience as I was in the middle of nowhere, in first place.

Maybe I was wishing too much from the Kazekage's goodwill.

Kikamaru started to walk between the stores, and I was surprised she wasn't making the chaos like some days ago. People were still staring at me, and as a consequence, I was getting used to the eyes of the Sand villagers. Suck it, Kiba.

Some meters later, she looked around, and just sat on the sand. I kept waiting for her to get up, but it seemed that she wasn't going to walk anymore.

"Kikamaru…?" I asked swiftly. Didn't want to sound like I didn't trust her. However, I wasn't feeling that spend the whole time we were together sat in the middle of the town doing nothing was right, exactly what Gaara was talking about. "What are we going to do?"

She grumbled. "Nothing."

Great.

I stood there with her for some time. It's unknown how much, but enough to see my teacher leaving hurriedly the training field. Probably a last-minute meeting, time for tea, or a battle to plan. I don't know, he was always impassive. He passed through us, but didn't say anything. Did he at least see us? I wanted to know if that was even allowed.

I glanced at Kikamaru, who was sleeping. I paid attention to this scene, that I never had the pleasure to presence when we were in the Leaf. I approached my eyes to her nose, and then noticed that she wasn't sleeping.

"Kikamaru, the master of disguise." I said annoyed, getting up and ready to pull the leash to the training field. "We need to train, Kikamaru!".

I literally tried to drag my dog's mouth, but the pressure on my neck didn't allow me to continue.

"We need-"

She barked a dozen times holding the leash with her claws while I tried to make her move. She wasn't saying anything, just creating a drama scene. I hated when she was like this. We needed trust, but this situation was only creating more discord. There was nothing to trust in here.

"Kikamaru, what do you want me to do?" I begged her for some response.

"Wait." She stated.

I allowed that our condition continued the same, staring at Kikamaru's eyes. I had the anger, but she was confident. I don't understand. We kept this position for some minutes, until a movement reached us.

"Watch out!" Some people screamed, while they ran through us. Then, the beast we had seen earlier was spotted. The pig was running after a kid, who obviously couldn't overcome the pursuer.

I dragged Kikamaru as fast as I could to their direction. Although she was laid when we saw it, she quickly accomplished my speed, like she already knew what to do. I drew my kunai, and we literally jumped on the beast. Pierced it, and Kikamaru bit its head. The sound of it wasn't enjoyable at all, but at least the kid could run away to the parents, who were crying while they hugged. Fortunately, we were able to immobilize the beast, and some Sand soldiers came to help to contain it. Now this was something to tell the Kazekage.

"Let it with us." The man with a Sand headband said, calming me down.

"What just happened?" Everybody was asking the same thing. Some about the incident, but I was more thinking about Kikamaru, who seemed to be prepared for such thing. Was this the reason why she didn't want to move? She knew it was coming, and going this way.

I felt ashamed as I realized that everything in this time was about trust.

"How did you know?" I asked her, restrained.

"Smell, hear, morning." She barked.

"This morning? So, you knew it was going to attack?"

Kikamaru nodded. I wondered why she didn't just tell me, or anyone. Probably then we would have actually avoided this mess, but I wasn't going to question her anymore. She was smarter than I thought, and as I saw, wanted to improve the skills as much as me. Then, we headed to the training field.

This part of the town wasn't affected by the crowd of the store center. The people was still fighting like nothing happened, and I felt that someone was with the view on me. It was really weird, like something was freezing my back. We agreed to try something more elaborated like Kiba's Fang Rotating Fang, as we needed to be less than a meter away from each other. We tried our best to spin the fastest to hit the dummy, but something was bothering me, and Kikamaru was feeling it.

The cold was irritating me.

The lack of trust was irritating me.

This day was irritating me, and Kikamaru knew it.

I turned around to see from where this strange feeling was coming, and I quickly spotted the brown-haired girl again, fighting against another teenager. He looked younger than us, probably learning everything from the very beginning.

"You!" I pointed at her approaching my finger to her chest, in provocation. She stepped back, putting her hands in front of her body in defense. I looked at the teenager's deep eyes, and he ran immediately from the field. We were alone, just me, the girl and Kikamaru. "What do you think you're doing?" I shouted.

"What do you mean?" She shouted back. "Are you crazy?"

"I noticed that you are following me with your annoying eyes all day! What do you want?" I snarled as I showed my sharp teeth in my speech.

"No-nothing." She held the sword with all her strength, still defending her body.

"Oh, so you want to fight!" I screamed loudly lifting my arms. Kikamaru didn't accomplish me at first in my challenge, but now she was sneaking by my side, getting ready to attack the lady.

"I-If you say so..." She said swiftly, but I could feel her shivers as she stared at our fangs while she spoke.

I gave some space to open the field for us. That was certainly a challenge. I particularly thought it wasn't a good idea as we trained so little, but I couldn't just let her like this. I was impulsive, I confess. At least we were two against one.

"What do you want from me, little girl?" I roared for her to hear. No response.

I glanced at Kikamaru for the last time until we start. She looked confident. I guess she trusted me we were in the right way.

I breathed, inspired, 1, 2, 3, attack!

We ran the same way we did in trainings with Gaara. Surely, she would dodge in the first opportunity, but if we were lucky, one of us would hit the target, piercing our claws on her short arms. When we jumped on her, one on the left and the other on the right, both of us caught her. Then, it just disappeared.

It was a clone.

The real girl was running in my direction with the sword, then threw away the unsharpened weapon and drew her kunais. Kikamaru pulled me with the leash, taking me to a safe position. Then, I threw back some shurikens, that I certainly missed.

"Damn aiming!" I roared. Kikamaru drifted away from me as the girl approached, and tried to jump on her. "Don't go without me!"

After being dodged, Kikamaru reached my position again, and the girl was ready to receive more melee attacks. She looked fearless now, much different from the moment I challenged her. I can't lie, she was doing a good lonely work. However, this wasn't enough to stop us.

"So, you will keep only dodging my attacks?" I giggled and her expression changed. Her silent mouth was disturbing me. "What? Don't you want to talk to me?"

She stood up, without moving any muscle. I guess she wanted me to make the first attack one more time. No problem.

"Kikamaru! Let's try Fang Rotating Fang again?" I asked her. I wasn't completely sure about it, and she was probably counting on me. I should do the smartest decisions, and now I didn't have much. We didn't train any other attacks besides the basics that the girl was dodging, and fortunately she didn't seem to have much experience with jutsus.

We started to spin like we were after Kikamaru's tail, until we reached a ferocious speed in a buzz-saw like shape. Then, we aimed. I couldn't even think while we were in that high-speed roll. All I could feel and think was Kikamaru, who was doing a coop jutsu with me. I could feel my ninken partner with me like I've never had before!

Before hitting the girl with this attack, I saw her eyes widening without any reaction. I guess we made it right, delivering her our powerful beast-like attacks.

We ran until it was a safe speed to establish our balance, and I looked at the beaten girl. She fell in consequence to the attack, but was still alive and had forces to get up. I was so glad she didn't have the experience to dodge our beast attack with a clone. I took my kunai and approached her. She couldn't defend herself anymore.

"So, what did you want from me, again?" I asked smirking. I felt Kikamaru by my side.

She coughed, and opened her eyes slowly.

"I f-found strange..."

"What? I can't hear you?" I said loudly, still in provocation even knowing the battle seemed to be over.

"I found strange Kazekage giving attention to somebody like you!" She screamed in anger.

I immediately balanced my kunai to hit her, and then did it.

I was stopped.

"Enough!" A rough voice came from the entrance of the field, and I saw sand covering my hand. I couldn't move it.

"Sensei!" The girl screamed, and I let her go. The sand slowly fell apart when I did, and the girl tried to get up.

"What were you doing?" Gaara asked me, looking into my eyes. "You attacked her in the intention to kill." He stated. I had no more explanation to give, besides a 'she-looked-at-me-funny' one, so I stood quiet, as the girl approached him. "Are you okay, Matsuri?"

"Y-Yes, sensei." She said, forcing her voice.

Did she just want to cover me? Or tried to appear tougher than she actually was?

"Leave, then." He said, crossing his arms stolidly.

"Yes, sensei." She lowered her head and left quickly, almost running, to make her teacher happy. I stood looking at Gaara's face, trying to disguise how nervous I was. It was worse than going to a principal's office, or knowing that the mother is going to your room to punish you. Much. Worse.

"I'm not going to ask you why. I have no interest." He declared, and I expired in relief. "I see you are developing your jutsus."

I nodded.

"I guess Kiba was right."

"I was questioning why you didn't ask him for help before."

I sighed.

"He tried. Then gave up when he saw that the theoretical part was much easier than the practical. This was when we were kids."

"I see." He remained silent for some minutes, then approached. "Why were you late today again?"

I looked at Kikamaru, who was laid again.

"I had to find Kikamaru in the village. Every day she has a different place."

"Does it bother you?"

"A bit, yes." I said almost whispering. How could a ninja be stopped by such problem?

"If you want, I have somewhere for both of you." He said, trying to be nice. This was going to spare much time for me, I'm sure.

I found it sweet, for a difficult guy.

I accepted, and then he led the way. He didn't say anything else, and I only hoped that it wouldn't be the political building I saw earlier.


	8. Sleep

We walked silently in the streets of the village. It was sunset already, and the stores were closing. The people greeted Gaara as he approached, and tried to ignore me. Some still whispered, even knowing that the Kazekage was probably hearing it too.

"You can take the collar off, you proved enough." He said glancing at my appearance.

"I know." I detached the leash from my neck, but decided to keep the collar. I wanted to remember this day, and the beginning of my friendship with Kikamaru, at last.

Gaara gave me a little smile. I found it amusing how he was treating me after fighting with his student. What was he thinking?

Even know he wasn't harming us at all, in fact, he was doing a favor, Kikamaru still didn't like him yet. She walked by my side all the way, until we stopped in front of a big sand house.

"Where are we?" I asked him, placing my hand on his shoulder. He immediately turned around. I think he wasn't used to be lightly touched. "Sorry."

"My sibling's house." He said.

"Do you live with them?"

"Not really."

I wondered why was he taking me there. Was he self-conscious about taking me to his home, or didn't like dogs either? One way or another, I felt like a kid being left in their aunt's house.

Not my aunt, Tsume. Ugh.

He opened the door, and instantly heard a girlish loud voice.

"Kankuro, come here and put away your things now!"

We entered, and I recognized that the girl screaming was the blond teacher I saw yesterday, and the man she was talking to was the teacher who was demonstrating swords.

Both of them turned to me in confusion.

"Gaara!" She widened her eyes and put the hands on her waist. Then, stared at me. "And who are you?"

"I'm Inuzuka Ke-"

"She's one of my students." Gaara cut my answer.

"Why did you bring her?" Kikamaru stopped hiding behind me, letting the people see her. "And a wolf?!"

"Temari, don't be mean in front of our guest." The sword teacher disapproved her manners. I was feeling he was more like a good friend. At least more bearable, because this girl was giving me bad vibes like I shouldn't come. "Please, feel like home, lady. My name is Kankuro, and this is Temari, our sister." He greeted me bowing slightly.

"She's visiting the Sand, but there's no place for her dog. That's the only reason I brought them." I moved forward when Temari gestured me to come closer. "Did you keep my room?"

"Yes... but you'll have to organize." He said apprehensive.

Temari stood with her hands on her waist viewing the way I was being treated by his brothers. I know I was in her house, but I didn't want them to think I was totally accessible and vulnerable to this type of aura. I just had to find a gap to reply.

"What happened in the town? Rumor has it there was a huge boar attacking citizens." The fan teacher asked.

"I've been working on it today. Villagers said he was pursuing kids in the afternoon and was caught by our hunters. It had an unknown seal on it." He said pushing me forward leading me to the room, then, gave some photos to his sister.

Hunters, for sure. They did nothing until I attacked it.

"This was something I wanted to tell you in the morning." I said, trying to get their attention. "I was attacked by it, that's why we were late today. Then, in the afternoon we got it."

They stood silently for a moment staring at me, and then the girlish voice started to laugh.

"You? No offense, but I saw your training yesterday, and you were deplorable. Both of you." She got her breath back finishing her sentence pointing her finger to me and Kikamaru. "You wouldn't have survived to a beast like that."

"It is true!" I said crossing my arms. I regretted to have kept by myself, when I had the chance to warn anyone. Damn Kikamaru, too. She would have spared so much time.

"It's you word against mine." Temari stated.

"She's telling the truth." Gaara said, closing his eyes. Astonished, Temari expressed doubtfulness looking at her brother.

"How do you know?"

The red haired sighed, and headed to the kitchen cabinet to take a piece of sliced bread. Then, let Kikamaru bite it and pulled off to show to Temari.

"What?" Temari asked in confusion.

Then, Gaara compared the bite shape with the bite in the boar's photo, that was already dead.

When the blonde realized, she stood silent looking at me. I felt revenged, so I smirked and let her see.

I entered in the room, which was the second in the hallway. Temari smiled, curved to Kankuro, and said. "I liked her style."

Kankuro rolled his eyes. What a snob girl.

"Did you discover anything?" I asked my teacher, trying to keep up the conversation. I was hating every minute that he was quiet. The cold from his presence was bothering more than Matsuri.

"I don't want you to worry about it." He replied slowly, looking around the room.

It was a big bedroom, with almost no light, filled with cardboard boxes and opened wardrobes. It didn't smell bad, but I could sense that the place was almost abandoned for some months. Only one window, apparently broken, and as anyone would imagine, scattered sand on the floor.

My teacher made the sand escape swiftly from the window, and as he did, lighted the candles. Kikamaru smelled the whole room, concluding that there was a nice place for her to calm down and get a peaceful rest. At least, there wouldn't be anything to complain about.

"I'm impressed how she managed to calm down here. She never slept in my house." I commented confident loosen my hair. The Kazekage didn't listen.

He was staring motionless at some old photos, like a statue. What was that all about?

"Gaara?" I asked approaching him slowly, trying to see what he had on his hands. When reached him, touched his shoulder again. His sand instantaneously wrapped my arm, and he turned frightened to me. My heart started to beat faster because I was scared as well.

His eyes weren't the selfish green eyes anymore.

"I'm sorry." The sand let my arm go, and he put the photo back. I looked at Kikamaru, who was already sleeping. Not even a bark to defend me.

"That's fine." I said with my scared eyes, holding my arm close to my chest. He noticed, and I think this gesture made him feel worse. "What was that about?"

"Nothing." He resumed the cleaning. "You can stay the nights here. My sister won't mind."

"She didn't seem like she isn't bothered." I said looking at the hallway, that led to the kitchen where his siblings were still talking.

"She doesn't mean it."

I felt that he was staring at me from behind as I put my backpack next to the bed, and took my pajamas.

"Where will you be sleeping?" I turned around and sat on the bed. "In your own house?" I realized how awkward it would be to stay in somebody's house if I didn't know any of the other teachers. It was already awkward enough to sleep in my teacher's house, but in my teacher's sister's house was just that bad. If I knew in the beginning that the place he was talking about was here, maybe I'd refuse. Probably he didn't see the wickedness when the only thing to solve was my presence in the village and the dog-free politics of hotels. Then, it was effective for him.

Anyway, I was already here.

"I don't sleep."

That would explain his dark circles... and bad mood.

"Why?" I realized how this question was stupid when I was already asking. I knew he was an instable beast boy. Duh. He stood muted, looking at me. If he had an eyebrow, maybe one of them would have been raised. "Never mind, sorry." I lowered my head. "I mean, where will you be?"

Finally, a more bearable question.

"In the living room." He said drying his voice. Then, he left, closing the door. In this time, I could change to my yellow pajamas and brush my hair. It was getting dry. Not that I used to take care of it, but it was tangling easily even in a ponytail.

Kikamaru was already snoring. She was so cute sleeping like that. Had a long day with me again. I stood sat on the bed, with the sheets on my lap staring at her for some minutes, until I had the urge to speak.

"Kikamaru, I know that we don't always get along, but I love you." I whispered to her. I don't think I would say this type of thing while she was awake, and hoped she wasn't.

This is not the Inuzuka's way to treat a partner. They would say 'I tolerate your smell'.


	9. Hear

While I was in bed, all I could hear was Kikamaru's breath on the floor. I alternated my laid position several times, and I still couldn't make myself fall asleep. That place was very different from what I was used to, and I wasn't getting used to the idea of sleeping under the same roof as the beast boy and his siblings. If Kiba had told me that this would be my future, I would had gone straight to the Rain Village or something.

Anything but strangers, even more Temari, whom I was urging to give some bites.

I got up from my thoughts, and bed, and looked at myself in the mirror. I contracted the edge of my lips, so it would be possible to check my fangs. They were all the Inuzuka's trait I could feel in me. My eyes were just like my aunt's, which I hated. It was a red mix of a snake and a wolf, and I always thought that they gave me a strange look. Beast-like look that I was proud, but scared at the same time. I didn't deserve these traits yet.

"You ARE an Inuzuka, Kegawa. Wolves are going to accept you." I said to myself as my fingers touched my clan painting on my cheeks, and slipped my neck to reach my purple hair. "If my mother knew that her daughter would be a purple haired, my name wouldn't even be Kegawa, Murasaki-san. No difference between you and somebody's dog."

I showed my tongue to myself, checking my other teeth, until I coughed. The dryness of the desert was irritating me, and my nose hurt like it was going to bleed.

"I need water." I said to myself, putting my hands on my neck, where my throat should be. "Kikamaru will probably be thirsty too, I must bring her."

I glanced at my image for the last time, and went to the hallway, and then the kitchen. Temari and Kankuro weren't there anymore, so I assumed they were already sleeping or out of the house. Anyway, I didn't want to find them while I tried to serve myself in their home. I know that, for a host, having a glass of water is absolutely nothing. However, for a guest, the lesser you know the host, more hesitant you are to ask anything. Even in friend's house asking for some juice is totally out of question if it's the first time.

Paralyzed would be the perfect word.

I searched in the counters for any bowl that they wouldn't miss for Kikamaru, easily fulfilled my needs, and placed a big purple bowl with water on the floor, strategically positioned for a thirsty dog to find.

I thought about turning back and going to sleep, but I remembered that Gaara was in the living room. I wondered what he was doing, and to be honest, I was dying of shame about serving myself as he heard everything.

I walked to the living room's door, and sneaked behind the door searching for Gaara, who was on the sofa reading a book.

"What do you want?" He asked as my cheeks turned as red as my painting. It wasn't supposed for him to notice me so quickly. "Shouldn't you be sleeping?"

I had the time to notice that he wasn't wearing his vest and coat now. Just normal pants and a black shirt. I guess he didn't mind at all about being casual with my presence.

"Yes, well, I tried." I said slowly, trying to get more time to make an excuse to stay. "I am trying to distract myself from my worries."

"Don't be too harsh on yourself, you are soon going back to Leaf." He said turning the page.

I stood in silence for some time. His words were simple, as people usually say the exact same thing. However, coming from the Kazekage, any comfort word would tranquilize me more than anyone else's.

"What are you reading, sensei?"

He looked away as he showed me the book cover. I sat on the couch, and read aloud.

"One Thousand and One Nights? What is that about?" I asked in confusion. The cover didn't seem to be from Sand, or Leaf, or anywhere else. Curious. It had a dusty blue background, and golden details that seemed to be falling apart, by its age.

"Ancient stories from a desert far from here." He said as he sighed.

"I see…" I looked at his eyes, that got back to the ancient lines of the book. "Can I ask you something?"

It was creepy how his green eyes moved to my direction without his neck. I think that was a 'yes'.

"Why are you treating me so well?"

"Am I?" He turned the page one more time, but his eyes were still staring at me.

"In the training field. Why did you treat Matsuri so bad and treat me well? I mean, you are solving my problems with Kikamaru just taking me here."

"Because she was supposed to beat you."

I widened my eyes. That little girl with a kunai, some cheap moves, was supposed to beat me? I understand that she wasn't that bad, but she didn't even try to use a jutsu.

"I don't understand."

"I'll be clear. Temari was right when she said you were deplorable in the first day." When he said that, I felt the anger rise from my stomach to my throat. "However, what I saw today wasn't the same. You were literally in the intention to kill. An intention that I wanted you to have when you were fighting against me."

I listened closely. That made sense. At least the intention part.

"But about Matsuri's part, why should her best me?"

"Because she is my first student."

The only thing that was through my mind now was that, if Matsuri was his very first student, and fights like that, what will I become? Is Gaara effective in teaching as he was in fighting?

I couldn't help myself from laughing.

"Why are you laughing?" He asked me strangely.

"How can that girl be your student for such time, and can't beat an average genin?" I didn't want to speak confidently, but it was stronger than my will. "She didn't attack me at all."

"I didn't say she was my best student. If she were, wouldn't be there anymore."

I thought for a moment, then noticed that when we were in the training field, he didn't give her attention at any moment. It was always me, the younger students, or nothing.

"Did you give up on her?"

"No." He closed the book. I didn't feel convinced with his answer, like he was trying to lie to himself. I approached my vision to his face, lowering my eyebrows to understand his expression.

"I'm not sure of it." I stated.

"Enough. I answered your question."

His bitter phrase cut the enjoyment of this conversation. I wanted to say I wasn't angry, but I was. This boy was so difficult to handle.

"You're right." I got up, taking the rest of my pride with me to leave the living room.

"Don't leave." Gaara said, and I immediately froze. Was he giving me… orders? "Unless you're sure you'll be able to sleep.

"Why?"

"I want your company." Gaara said opening that blue book again to resume his reading.

I closed my fists, but in the same time, I think I was blushing. I turned around to go back to the sofa without thinking, like my body had already decided what to do.

"Are you going to read a story for me to sleep, sensei?" I provoked. I don't know if I said in a funny, or harsh way. Maybe both. The point is, he didn't move anyway, in the exact position when he was staring at the photo in the bedroom. I wasn't going to dare touch his shoulder again to wake him up. I like having two hands made of flesh and bones.

"Sensei? What's going on?" I whispered lying on the sofa's arm until Gaara came back from his thoughts. Then, he looked at me, moving only his eyes again.

"I just remembered something. What do you want me to read?"

"Any tale of your book." I said smiling, placing my arms under my head. The sofa was soft, and I was more comfortable there than in the bedroom where Kikamaru was sleeping.

"Fine." He said searching in the book. "People say, that there was a time where a dearly cobbler named Ma'aluf, who had a calamitous wife, named Fatimah lived. One day, when Ma'aluf was getting ready to work, she said 'I want you to bring me today a cake made of cheese and honey from the finest bees found in the desert.' The poor Ma'aluf swallowed dryly in front of the newest absurd desire of his wife. 'Listen, my woman..."

He stood reading the story aloud, and I kept my eyes only on him. His voice was monotonous, like he didn't understand the emotion behind the phrases that he was saying. However, even without feelings in the speech, I felt happy, because Gaara was finally communicating instead of being so cold and silent.

Then, I listened to his smooth words until my eyes slowly closed


	10. Wander

I opened my eyes, after a white light reflected in my face. I looked around, and I was in the middle of nowhere in the desert. The horizon was orange, with nothing but sand dunes.

"Where am I?" I screamed as I tried to run randomly. Something was pushing me back, like the only thing I was allowed to do was observe.

"Bring me." I heard a voice behind me. I tried to turn around, but now I couldn't move my vision from the horizon. The Sun was hurting my sight, and didn't have a choice but bare the pain.

Then, the voice spoke again, and I felt a cold breeze touch my neck and shoulders.

"Bring me!" The female voice said again, and this time, her order made the orange horizon turn into a black sea. The light that was hurting my eyes disappeared, and in the exact time, a strange noise reached my ears.

The black sea was... bees?

"Bring me the honey!" The female voice shouted the last time, because after this, all I could hear was the sound of insects.

"Honey?!" I screamed a dozen times.

I opened my eyes, this time my real eyes, desperately.

"Kegawa?" Another female voice shouted, and finally, I saw a familiar face. "Kegawa, are you alright?"

"It was... a dream?" I said looking around. I was in the living room again, and now things were making sense. Also, I could move my body normally. Temari and Kankuro were staring at me in confusion.

"You were screaming 'honey' until we came." Kankuro said to me, holding my hand.

I took a deep breath stretching my arms. They were a bit red and full of marks from the sofa's surface.

"Where's Gaara?" I asked them. He wasn't there anymore.

"Where do you think? He's in his office." Temari said harshly. "Why?"

"He was with me when I fell asleep, I guess." Temari and Kankuro looked at each other, again in confusion. "But, wait, what time is it?"

"Half past ten." Temari said looking at the clock above me. I immediately got up. I was late again.

"Wait, what are you doing?" She asked me.

"Getting ready for my training!" I said taking my clothes and searching for my things in my room. She accomplished me, and I think she was laughing at my misery.

"Don't you know what day it is?" The blonde supported her shoulder on my room's door.

"Friday?" I said.

"Yes, silly."

"So what?" I stopped when I realized there was something in it.

"The trainings are on Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday." She said presenting herself. "Did you forget I am one of the teachers?"

Well, she had a point.

"But, Gaara didn't mention anything about schedule. I thought it was every day."

"He's the Kazekage, girl. He wouldn't have time to train everyday even if he wanted. There are more important things to handle than you, like that boar's origin." She looked worried as she spoke.

Kikamaru appeared from under the bed, stretched her back and yawned, like she already knew that we didn't have to wake up early.

"You are probably right, but I still want to hear it from him." I said confident as I quickly changed my clothes and I left the room holding Kikamaru's scruff.

Temari rolled her eyes.

"Stubborn girl." She grumbled.

In the moment I brought Kikamaru out of the house, she fought over her own control, jumping and pulling her body away from my hands.

Barked one time. "Free."

I tried to hold her the best I could, but she was stronger than me. Thus, she was released to run away again from me. I didn't understand why she was trying to get away only in the moment we were going out. She had so many chances when we were all sleeping.

"That's fine! I will go alone anyways!" I shouted with anger for her to hear. She didn't even turn her head around to see me talking to her. "Damn dog!"

I noticed that Temari was looking and laughing at the scene from the window.

I was annoyed. Already in the morning.

"That's fine, Kegawa, just go alone." I said to myself, heading to the political building, where the Kazekage's office was supposed to be. The place was still getting me a bad feeling, mostly because I wasn't from here, and had just a regular pass to visit the village. It was a large, round and sandy building with several rows of windows, and written 'wind' in the middle in a circle. I stood looking to what was written, waiting for my body to, thoughtless, move to the entrance.

I took a deep breath, and stepped into. There, many men dressed in white tunics were talking to each other, giving an important impression. I was standing out and feeling uncomfortable, to be honest.

I approached the person who was probably in charge of giving information and controlling the entrance and exit of people in the offices and meetings.

"Hello" The man said harshly. "What did you come for?"

"I want to see the Kazekage."

"Do you have an appointment?"

"No." I answered as my cheeks were getting warm. That place was getting me nervous.

"I'm sorry, but I cannot send you now. Do you want to set one? Who are you?"

"No, I am one of his students. I simply wanted to know if he had prepared something for today."

"Sorry, ma'am, but you should wait for the next classes. They are... on Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday at ten." He said consulting the papers on the wall. "And if it's important, there are other teacher who are willing to help."

"Yes, uh, I am aware of it. Thanks." I stated, ready to leave. "But, if it's possible, please tell him I asked about it, and that Kegawa Inuzuka will be in the training field again today."

"Recorded." The man said after writing in a small notepad. "Have a great day."

I left the building unsatisfied. No teacher, no dog, and I wasn't willing to fight Matsuri again. I learned enough with her, and she wouldn't fall for the same trick. I needed Kikamaru back, but I was too discouraged to search for her now, so I spent the rest of the day wandering through the village. As I said when we arrived, the place was strange, but beautiful as well. I visited some stores, tried on some typical Sand clothes and some strange food.

Sitting in front of a food tent, I sighed while I ate a weird stew. Peculiarly, it was tasty.

"Having a bad day?" The man who was running the tent asked me.

"Kind of." I said swallowing the stew. "I can't find my dog."

"A dog?" The man kindly asked. "A white big dog?"

"Yes. With a difficult personality."

"Oh, I saw a dog walking alone to the training field earlier."

"Training... field?" I thought for some seconds.

My dog was more trustable than me.

I paid, and quickly left the tent to the training field. I just hoped that Gaara wasn't there, because I was feeling like a liar by leaving a fake message, and a time waster. When I arrived, I saw Kikamaru in front of a dummy. It was literally falling apart, ragged and torn.

"So, you were training here all day." I said lowering my voice. Kikamaru gazed at the sky that was starting to turn orange. "I wasn't expecting that."

She barked two times. "I, know."

"Maybe we can try that old jutsu of our clan, Double Headed Wolf." I said trying to cheer the scene, but Kikamaru was still staring at the dummy. "I understand that you probably don't want to fuse in a jutsu with me now."

Her ears moved silently, but that was all. I stood watching her paralyzed body for minutes, until she barked. "Fine."

My eyes sparkled as she spoke, and all the blame I was feeling disappeared. Then, when she stood by my side, she combined all her chakra in our connection, and I tried to expand mine to her.

"Inuzuka Style, human beast transformation!" I exclaimed as I made the hand sign for the jutsu.

After the white cloud dissipated, I saw myself with dog claws, pelt and fangs. I looked around, but I saw Kikamaru on my side. We weren't combined, even though I was with a dog appearance.

"I'm sorry, Kikamaru." I turned back to normal, giving her chakra back and trying to figure out what was happening. "I don't know what went wrong."

She was annoyed, but gave me more chances to continue our training. I tried several times to do the jutsu, but I was always the only one to turn into an incomplete big wolf.

I wasn't understanding what was happening, but after dozens of tries, we heard a grunt.

"Did you hear that?" I asked Kikamaru. She started to bark loudly, but not as loud as she could. My dog was getting tired of that training, as it was consuming much chakra, and I was the only one who was getting the results. "What is that?"

We saw a brown figure running from the other side of the field to our direction, and Kikamaru directed her barks to it.

"The smell, I can smell it from the wind..." I said forcing my vision. "It's that beast again!"

As she barked, she said to me. "No, same, other."

"Another boar?!" I exclaimed as we tried to dodge the beast, that had already reached us. It had the same seal.

Then, when I accomplished the boar's way, it turned back to stare at my eyes, and Kikamaru barked at me from behind.

"Kegawa Inuzuka, and Kikamaru, daughter of Shiromaru." A husky voice whispered to us.

I felt a hand on my nape.


	11. Face

Kikamaru barked a dozen times while I was paralyzed, and the cold hand held me, like in the dream that I had in the morning. The only thing I was allowed to do was stare at the boar's eyes, while I heard a voice talking.

"How do you know our names?" I shouted angrily. I couldn't see how tough the man was, so I could abuse of my naivety to be provocative. His smell was the only source that I had, and I learned that he was a grown man who wasn't from Suna either.

"Doesn't everybody here knows who you are?" The man held me tighter, and then, the beast started to run to Kikamaru, who was walking towards me. Both of them jumped to attack each other, but Kikamaru could not resist the boar's strength.

"Kikamaru!" I screamed as I tried to free myself, punching the man's belly with my elbow to approach her. For a second, I thought that I was free, when suddenly I heard a roar, followed by heavy steps and claws piercing my shoulders.

I fell on the ground, fighting again with the man.

"What do you want?" I screamed trying to turn around. He was pressuring my back with his claws, growling loudly next to my ears. Luckily, his arms weren't ripping my clothes and touching my flesh. "Let me go!"

He laughed awkwardly, and again I saw Kikamaru try to free herself from the boar's attack. She dodged his horns, and quickly ran to my position to jump on the man who was immobilizing me. When he lowered his guard, I pushed him away with my balance and got up to ran away from the training field. Maybe I could fight with him, but we weren't willing to bet if we would really make it.

The boar started to make a strange noise, and the man made a jutsu to it.

"Nekkoka Style! Feline Clone Strike!" The man shouted and Then, the roar came in double to get us. They weren't in the same shape anymore. They were... like felines. I could not describe what feline it was, because I had never seen something like that. A big yellow cat, with fangs that didn't even fit its mouth, and claws pointing to my direction. We would never outrun them as they approached, so I held Kikamaru and closed my eyes.

I was scared as hell.

In matter of milliseconds, Kikamaru noticed it and bit my hand. She was hoping more from me and her. Her eyes showed me that she knew what to do, pushing me to do the jutsu that we already knew.

"Inuzuka Style! Fang Rotating Fang!" I shouted as we started to spin into the high-speed roll and Kikamaru angrily barked intensely at the felines who were preparing to pierce their fangs on our flesh. We did hit our target, but our enemies pushed us back with a powerful counter attack. I could say that they weren't damaged at all.

The beasts laughed as they reset to their position.

"Do you think we would fall for that, filthy dog?" The bigger human-feline said.

My eyebrows lowered in anger.

"Why are you attacking us? Who are you?" I shouted. He seemed to be very calm comparing to me.

"I think it's not that bad for you to know." He said licking his arm, that seemed to be bleeding lightly, staring at me. "My name is Shinku Nekkoka."

"Nekkoka...?" I said whispering to myself, trying to remember this name. My mother used to say it so much when I was smaller. "… Our inverse?"

Shinku smiled.

"We were planning to borrow one of your dogs in the Leaf, but, oh." He stopped to stare at Kikamaru and smile even more. "You made everything so much easier! The weakest of them all with the strongest dog available!" He exclaimed. That man was surely as crazy as a cat.

So, even the Nekkoka clan knew that there was an Inuzuka girl who didn't know how to control her ninken. How shameful.

"So... you are trackers... Since when we were traveling..." I whispered again. Kikamaru was hearing everything, but I don't know if she was understanding. "And what about the boar with the seal? Is this the real form of it? Where's your ninken?"

"Oh, Akkako is just a simple artifice to confuse the enemy. After all, how many clans have felines? Akakko is not a boar! He's a smilodon!" He said surprised. What the hell is a smilodon? It didn't smell like it was a cat... Not that I've already smelled lots of cats. Shinku seemed to be already counting his advantage. However, I don't think Gaara would take so long to study the mark in the photos he had. "I am taking Kikamaru."

The exact moment he finished his sentence, the smilodon ran to get us. I think she wasn't expecting me to be in front of her, because when I stood in front of Kikamaru, she pulled me forward, making his ninken jump on my chest. I held its paws with all the strength I had in my arms and threw it away. Then, I positioned myself next to Kikamaru.

"Maybe we'll need help, where are the soldiers when we need them?" I complained, and Kikamaru barked two times. "Try, jutsu."

"Do you think it's a good idea? We didn't get it right one single time!" I exclaimed angrily. Double Headed Wolf was far more complicated than the jutsu we tried the other fight. This time, it was ninken against ninken.

"You, big." She barked to me while we stared at the other side of the field. Maybe it could solve, as I would get bigger, but Kikamaru would be exhausted, and as far as I understood, they. They wanted her.

I think I knew what to do.

I accepted her idea, and we prepared to do the jutsu.

"Inuzuka Style! Human Beast Combination!" I shouted as I tried to expand my whole chakra to her. It didn't matter if I was going to be out of it, she was stronger than me and needed to defend herself. They wanted her, after all. Any energy that I had, I tried to concentrate in our connection, to finally feel a transformation begin. After the white cloud dissipated, I saw what she saw.

We were in the same body, and I couldn't understand how this time everything worked. A double headed wolf.

As soon as Shinku started to howl with his ninken, we ran to attack him.

"Feline Claw Attack!" Shinku shouted trying to aim his paws to us. When he noticed that it wasn't going to be enough, he started to use his fangs, which were weaker than ours even being longer. Our bites were stronger as we reached his head, and the fight was resumed in who would damage the enemy, in a sharp and violent roll. We were able to bite his neck, while holding the ninken with Kikamaru's paws. I could say that these movements were effective, but we weren't going anywhere. He looked at us in the intention to kill, so he found a way to finally hold my neck with his fangs, and put me down. Kikamaru let his ninken go with the pain she felt, and then it jumped in our back. I howled in pain trying to get any help. There wasn't anyone to help us, at all.

Where were the Sand ninjas?

Where was my effectiveness?

"Finally, uh?" Shinku said confidently. "Nobody ever remembers the Nekkoka, but with Kikamaru's head, we will finally have the attention we need."

This man was surely insane. I needed to protect Kikamaru... But, there was so much blood...

"It's not gonna... Happen!" I said trying to keep me awake. I couldn't pass out. Not now.

The deeper his teeth went into my skin, the lesser I felt. My body was sparing me, and all I could hear was Kikamaru's growls trying to save me and trying to command the part of the body I wasn't feeling anymore. I was being consumed by her.

Suddenly, I noticed that Shinku and his ninken were distancing themselves slowly. I heard him scream something as the smilodon cried and Kikamaru barked furiously. I didn't understand anything at first, but then, when we transformed into human and dog again, I saw a red figure above me as I fell on the sand.

"Kegawa? Kegawa?!" The figure said as it squeezed me, until the view was clear enough to realize that my teacher was there.

As I tried to get up, I stared at the scene in pain trying to stop my blood that was shedding, with Kikamaru paralyzed by Gaara's strange expression, like his inner monster was controlling his actions. He seemed out of control with furious eyes on Shinku, who was chained to sand.

"Die, already!" Gaara raised his arms, and instantly closed his fists, making the sand that was involving Shinku concentrate and smash him like a bug.

That was the most horrible scene I would ever see. His blood spilled on everywhere in the field including my face, and Akakko didn't have anywhere to go but confront my teacher. The same thing happened to it, covering the feline in sand, and smashing the enemy. Then, when Gaara finished his battle, he turned to me. I couldn't stop my eyes from being widened, and my scared expression didn't respond my brain. I couldn't move, and he was getting closer.

My heart made me so terrified with it that I couldn't help myself from passing out. Then, everything turned into a black blur.


	12. Heal

Fear... How to describe it.

Fear is a feeling that causes a change in our behavior, indulged by risks to body or life. It can be irrational or rational, and if it's irrational, it's called a phobia.

However, this wasn't the case now.

The bloody scene that I just saw made a mess in my head. Even knowing that I knew exactly what just happened, I couldn't accept how it occurred. My teacher, who had just read a story for me to sleep, was killing my enemy in one hand sign, that wasn't even a proper jutsu.

And about his expression. Everything went so quickly, but his face... That psychopath eyes, and a strange smile that I may never forget.

"Why do you think everybody calls him a beast boy, Kegawa?" My own voice echoed in this black blurred reality. I knew that I was fainted, and while I couldn't wake up, I tried to fix my psychological.

"I know he's powerful, but was he a murderer?" I asked myself lowering my sane thoughts.

"He isn't like that, you know him!"

That wasn't my teacher.

I didn't want to believe he was my teacher, that was only his monster taking over him.

"He IS the monster he owns!"

"No! He is just a scared boy!" I cried to myself. "Can't you imagine how can a freak of nature live normally?"

"He is not what you want him to be!" I couldn't recognize my own voice as I said that. "He's not in your perfect world!"

"He is not dangerous!"

"He is dangerous!" My voice echoed back inumerous times.

I wanted to wake up. I couldn't stand anymore.

I tried to silence my mind until I could open my eyes and run away from my conscious. When I did, another bright light hurt my eyes.

White.

I lifted my hand to block my vision until I got used to the brightness. I was in a white room, in a bed.

"Hos... pital?" I whispered to myself.

There was a nurse, or a doctor, I don't know, next to my bed preparing something, probably a remedy. My back was immobilized by bandage and gauze, but I could still feel some of the scratches that Shinku had left me with.

"So, you are awake!" The woman turned to me with some pills and gave me all at once. "Take it, you are going to feel better."

"What's this?" I said unconfidently. I hate medicine.

"The red pills are analgesic, and the blue is antibiotic. We don't want you to get infected by the wound, right?" She smiled.

"Yeah, I guess..." I rolled my eyes as I swallowed the remedies. They had an awful taste. "How much time have I been here?"

"Only one night. You are doing well, and if you treat yourself, in one week you won't be feeling pain anymore."

"Oh, nice, so for one week I'll be taking medication to make sure I won't die from pain?"

"We can't rush our bodies, can we?" She giggled. "Then, you will only have to treat with ointment and gauze."

"Fine. Can I go now?" I said trying to get out of that hospital as soon as possible.

"Of course not!" She said making me lay again. "Why every Leaf ninja always want to get out of hospitals sooner?"

"Are you saying there's more Leaf ninjas here now?"

"No, but the last of them left one week sooner. I guess Tsunade's work is worth the three days journey"

I noticed that. The treatment Tsunade used to give us, from what I remember, was far more pleasant than these bitter pills.

"Where's my dog?" I asked her, searching for Kikamaru.

"Dog? I don't know. We don't have vets in Suna." She seemed to be concerned. "Anyway, I will be happy to announce the Kazekage that you are finally awake. He waited the whole night for you to wake up."

I nervously blushed. I wasn't prepared to face him. The nurse left, and Gaara, who seemed to be next to the door hearing everything, asked her something and entered in the room when she nodded.

His eyes were the same as I met, and the strange smile that I saw yesterday wasn't there anymore. I was glad. I kept staring his movement to lean on the wall parallel to my sight, trying to read him.

Both of us stood in a violent silence. He was staring at me back, and I didn't know what to say. We kept this moment for several minutes, until my breathing turn more intense. I couldn't disguise my flutter.

"How are you?" He asked me. "The nurse said you were getting better."

I hesitated to answer. Did he mean my psychological or physical?

"Well, just feeling something in my back." I tried to disguise myself behind a smile. "And you?"

I thought that before he answered me, we would be in another silence, but I was wrong.

"As usual." He said lowering his head. "Can I see? Where you are hurt?"

I contracted my body. Could I say 'no' to the Kazekage?

"I don't feel... comfortable." I said drifting my sight from him.

I noticed that he didn't like my answer, but before the anger, I saw something that resembled discomfort.

"I'm not going to hurt you." Gaara said closing his first, and then opening slowly.

"I know, sensei." I tried to turn my voice into something beautiful to hear, but with the husky voice that I was having now, it would be more difficult to soften the scene. "How did you know I needed help there?"

He sighed as he lifted his hand to the back of the head.

"I was working on the case with Kankuro earlier, and he recognized that seal and all the cat related thing. Therefore, we figured out that they were after an Inuzuka. Also, I got the message you left."

We stood in silence again. I knew that Gaara would figure out.

I was glad I trusted in his wisdom.

"I didn't want you to see what you saw." He drifted his eyes away from me as well while he was speaking. "You need to stay away from me."

I felt that he wanted to get out of there now, as I felt his trembling voice. I never thought that I would live to see Gaara fall apart right in front of me.

I was afraid of him, and in the same time I was feeling guilty to do so. I imagine how many times he probably had to go through this type of situation. He was nothing but nice to me, and saved me from a the Nekkokas. I was being selfish.

"Why?"

"Because I don't know if I can control it, when I'm with you." His voice was hard to hear. Not because he was speaking low, but it carried a sorrowful tone.

I tried to get up. I wanted to show that I wasn't scared, even though I was. When I stepped on the cold floor, my legs trembled and before I fall, I felt his sand holding me.

"You should not get up now." He said commanding it to keep me in my original position.

"But I want to." I fought with his sand to leave me alone, then I went to his direction. I wanted to see his eyes from a shorter distance.

"Don't come closer." He ordered me, but I ignored taking step from step to reach him.

"Why?"

I stared at his green eyes, which were so pure that I could even see mine.

"Because if you don't, you will die."

I tried my best to avoid my eyes from widening. If I wanted to give a strong impression, I had to be more convincing than this, so I guided my right hand from his pulse until it reached his forearm, and my left hand held his. While I did this, his eyes seemed to be surprised of the approach. Finally, I supported my head on his chest to hear his heartbeat and breathing. Both were intense.

I felt the adrenaline running through my veins and my heart beating like it was in my neck while I touched my warm fear.

"You did nothing wrong, Gaara." I tried to calm him down as I noticed how he was trying to control his heavy breathing by holding it and expiring slowly. "I actually need to thank you for saving me. You have only been nice to me, and I am glad I have you by my side."

I thought that he would put his arms around me to keep me there, but instead he pushed me with his hands holding my shoulder, and stared at my eyes. He looked like he wanted to say something. I made a confused expression, but he didn't say anything at all.

"What?" I asked.

He removed his hand off my shoulder to open his red coat. Then, he took a paper from his pocket and gave me.

"Your mother." He answered.

"It's already opened." I commented before reading. The letter was from the Inuzuka clan, and destined to me only. I found strange that he probably read it to know that it was my mother, but I didn't want to say anything that could sound bad in this moment. "Kegawa, I received your letter. Are you staying in a hotel? Have you already improved your jutsus? Your mother, Kaori Inuzuka." I read aloud.

"The bird returned last night."

"Thank you, I was looking forward to receive it. Now I need to answer it."

"I already answered for you."

"What?" I tried to hold my expression, because it was about to fall apart. "Why would you do this?"

"We didn't know if you were going to wake up today, and I already knew the answers."

I convinced myself that his explanation was acceptable to calm me down. He was right, she only wanted to know and he did exactly what I would do.

I wondered if he signed as the Kazekage, or as me. It would be so messed up if he introduced himself for my mother without any reason.

"By the way, where's Kikamaru?" I asked him.

He looked at the village by the window before replying.

"With Kankuro. Somewhere."

"Why is my dog with your brother?" I didn't know how to describe what I felt hearing this. Jealously, maybe, like my heart had been squeezed with cold hands and my stomach burning in wild flames. I clenched my fists. "She should be with me!"

"I know, but you can imagine that dogs aren't allowed here, and Kankuro and Kikamaru got along."

I stared at his mouth as he spoke in discomfort, and then headed to the door.

"What are you doing?" Gaara asked me before I left. "You should rest here."

"I don't care, I'm taking my dog back."

I closed the door furiously, determined to find Kikamaru.

Kankuro. Get along. Wasn't he the man with a cat hood?


	13. Watch

After leaving the hospital, I gazed at the sky, which was a nice light blue, and bet to be something next to midday. I didn't know the way back to Gaara's house, so I would direct myself only if I found a recognizable smell in the wind. I convinced myself that I didn't have many chances, so I would wander in the village until I find somewhere that I knew.

I wanted so badly anyone to escort me in these situations...

My heart stopped beating fast when I distanced myself from that area, but when I headed to the streets, I felt a chill in my belly as eyes started to lay their vision on me with expressions that I had not seen before, like they could touch me only with their gaze. My bandage was already making me burn in pain, and now, freshly out of the hospital, I was feeling invaded, and sick of people talking behind my back, I wasn't that interesting.

I hope.

I walked towards a stand to understand what was happening, while a bunch of people that were firstly looking indiscreetly at me resumed their drinks or newspaper. My throat was dry from what I just went through and the desert itself, and honestly, I didn't want to sound even more ridiculous than I was already feeling. However, this scene was making my curiosity stand out, and I was regretting every single time I complained about being Kiba's shadow.

There was a genin girl, who seemed to be my age, with a blue Sand headband and long dark brown hair, periodically glancing at my face using a book as a miserable disguise. 'Be nice, Kegawa.' I thought to myself as I tried to convince that I could get out of this situation with enough class. Manners weren't Inuzuka's forte, surely, but I was about to give it a shot.

"Excuse me… uh... girl?" I tried to speak swiftly while I watched the girl's eyes widen as she noticed I was talking with her.

After a moment, both of us paralyzed by that awkward situation, she tried to drift her sight away from me.

"Hello, Inuzuka-sama." She smoothly bowed before me, and all the question I already had in my mind triplicated.

Why did she bow before me?

How did she know my name?

My frightened expression made me step back instantly, and the girl started to tremble.

'What am I doing wrong?' My mind spoke to my conscious.

"Why did you bow?" I scratched the back of my head in confusion. "How do you know my name?"

She didn't answer, and her trembling legs seemed to make her leave my front in shyness and shame. I thought about following her, but I realized that I just scared a genin with my own gestures.

I still didn't know what was happening, and I still had questions. Was that all about something that Kiba did? Perhaps it wasn't about me, but my clan or village. My head wouldn't just carry on, but I was running out of reasonable options when the eyes got back.

After rounding the streets feeling that my clothes were torn or anything so attention calling to make people see me, I finally found the way back. When I was about to open the door, I heard a scream.

"Go back to your village, foreign!" The male voice said. My eyebrows immediately lowered in anger as I turned around to find who had spoken, but I didn't spot anyone.

'Carry on, Kegawa.'

After a couple of seconds viewing the street, I decided to enter in the house, and when I did, Temari was in front of me with a ravenous expression. She pinned me against the closed door and made an intimidating eye contact showing her teeth. I reacted holding her arms to have a distance control, and growled making my fangs appear as well.

"What are you doing, Temari?" I roared with my eyes half opened. Her blue stare was making me feel uncomfortable.

"What are you doing with my brother?" She shouted in rage. I knew that if she was a little more out of control, she would have put her hands on my neck to choke me.

"What do you mean, Temari? I did nothing!" I replied with the same tone she used to attack me.

"Don't you know his status of yesterday!?" She pushed me against the door, almost opening it with her strength making me scream in pain. "What are you trying to do? Answer me!"

"I don't understan-" I grasped with the pressure she was doing, so she loosened it. Then, I breathed deeply searching for my space. Temari stood staring at my red eyes and clan painting, but now in a little more relaxed position. "What about him? Are you crazy?"

"He was strange again." Temari said harshly, with lowered eyebrows and body prepared to attack me.

"Why?" I asked pretending to be fine while Gaara was the subject. Didn't matter if I talked with him after yesterday's scene, that horrible scene was still appearing in my head when I heard his name.

"Sit, I need to talk with you." She said showing me the way to the kitchen's chairs. That girl looked worried and furious at the same time. I did what she asked me, and she did the same, always looking at my face. "First of all. What do you know about Gaara?"

A million thoughts passed through my head when the question reached my ears. Many of them were just about what I knew to be a Kage, a Hokage, or Kazekage, a beast boy, and a ninja, beyond the main subject. However, I had to give an answer.

"He is my teacher, the Kazekage, your brother and has the Ichibi."

Temari heard everything attentive with crossed arms, slowly moving her head in a nod. I could see that the blue in her eyes weren't all about the color itself, but there was something more emotional beyond the anger. I still couldn't describe it better than 'worried', but the contrast in her behavior was showing me that this conversation was probably serious.

"Do you imagine how people like him had to live?" She asked me loudly, and I instantly thought about the Kyubi of my village. They were probably the same.

"As far as I know about beasts and people, alone." I answered her in the same serious aspect.

"This type of living affected Gaara's personality. Actually, it drove him insane to the point of being the Sand's Secret Weapon, a killing machine."

A killing machine.

I couldn't help my eyes from widening once again.

And one more time, I had to pretend I wasn't being intimidated by him.

"He's not dangerous." I impulsively said, trying to convince myself that my calm side was the only one. Now Temari was the one with widened eyes.

"Not even the naivest person in this village would ever say this. You don't know him, and don't know what he's been through!" She got up supporting her body with her arms on the table.

I retracted my body, like a scared puppy. "Your nose is bleeding, by the way." She stepped back turning her head in disgust. I guided my hand to my nose, and realized that there was blood coming out.

"What…?" I thought loud.

"Your body isn't used to the dryness yet, uh?" She said rolling her eyes and giving me a napkin. "These Leaf bodies…"

I changed back the subject as I felt that she was going to use the desert as an argument against me, if Temari wanted me to go back as well.

"I mean, how is he the Kazekage if he's insane?"

"He was rehabilitated." She sighed not giving much details. "But the point is, yesterday when he arrived, he wasn't the same. The blood on his face, his lifeless expression and harsh moves. Kegawa, he was dangerous, and I noticed that he killed someone in a violent way. I need to know what happened with my brother!"

My belly started to feel painful chills when I analyzed everything Temari said. Even his sister was scared of something I saw with my own eyes, describing what happened after I was already vulnerable. I had to tell her what I saw, so I took a deep breath and started.

"I was in a fight, and I was losing. My opponent was related to that boar case, by the way, and when I was about to lose, he saved me. I realized that he was much different when he..." I couldn't even complete the sentence when the scene came in my mind again. I think Temari understood what I was meaning.

"Gaara can't have strong emotions. It's not secure." Temari got back to her place on the chair. "Stay away from him."

"Why do you think I have anything to do with his emotions? I'm just a student." I said calmly pressuring my scratches to avoid the burning sensation that I was periodically having.

"Don't you remember?" She widened her eyes nervously. I think I was bothering her only because I had been beaten and needed treatment.

"I passed out." I said in a rough voice. "How do you want me to remember?" Finally, someone who made a stupid question that was not me.

"Gaara carried you to the hospital in his arms and the whole village assumed that you are together." I felt her the tremble of her voice sounding from her dry throat, and I blushed nervously. "I think he saw something in you, and seeing you being attack was... Well, this is madness."

"It explains many things" I looked at my own hand and claws. "I agree with you. This is madness."

We stood in silence looking at each other. Temari was probably waiting for me to give a better response, and I was waiting for her to complain about it, and thinking about what she had just told me.

Gaara seeing anything in me? Temari could only be wrong. I mean, he was nice and everything, but I didn't even know the guy, and I think it must take much more to get his attention than a filthy dog.

"Temari, I am here only for the training." I said confident.

"I know, Kegawa. But I am worried about him, as I accomplished every training and even when Matsuri was kidnapped he remained calm and emotionless. And I am talking about his very first student!"

I tried to calm down when she said her name. The same burning and freezing feeling that I felt when I heard that Kikamaru was with Kankuro came, so I bit my lip to direct the pain to somewhere else in my body.

"I am... aware of it."

Temari noticed my discomfort, and practically jumped over the table to push me holding my neck, in the same ambient when I arrived home.

"Are you interested in my brother?" She shouted in my face.

I was wrong, the ambient now was far more violent than when I arrived. I couldn't breathe, trying to stop her from choking me. I held her hands, that were on my neck, and pulled searching for freedom.

"Of course not!" I screamed trying to convince her.

"You are lying!" Temari looked deeply in my eyes while I couldn't avoid them.

"How would I ever be interested in a beast boy?! He made me watch the most horrible scene in my life!"

"How can you say these things of Gaara to me?" She let me go in disgust. "He saved your life."

"Are you trying to keep me away from him or what?" I growled.

Temari stared at me with all the anger she could have in her heart.

"You do not deserve his time." Declared heading to the door. "I won't ban you from this house only because I wasn't who invited you, but when Gaara realizes, well, you already know your future." Then, she left the house.

I stood staring at the closed door. There was nothing left for me anymore, alone and without my ninken. However, I wasn't even thinking about Kikamaru, but in what I had just said about Gaara. I swear I didn't mean it, as my mind was still divided in thoughts about what I felt about him.

Fear, blame, sadness and comfort. None of them were complete.

I was getting tired of the adrenaline in my veins, so while I tried to fix my thoughts, I went to search for Kankuro and Kikamaru again. At least now I knew why people were acting more strangely in front of me.

"Gaara..." I giggled. "This is ridiculous."


	14. Delay

Wandering through the village searching for my ninken's smell, I encountered many people of all types. Some seemed to be happy seeing me, and others not really. I found amusing how they probably thought I was important, noting that Tsunade wasn't as popular with the public as Gaara. I don't know if the nation was fearing him, since they didn't see him as one of them, and thinking that I had any influence on a Jinchuuriki was making me laugh. I decided to climb up the building where I could see the whole village from above, and if I had the opportunity, resume my drawing of the architecture. The colors that painted the desert's sky were different from the watercolors I used, as the Sun wanted to shine as bright as it could in this afternoon.

I wondered what Temari was talking about when she threatened me with her brother.

No, I didn't want to think about it now. Don't spoil the painting.

When I finished the horizon, I got up to stretch, dancing on the rooftop's edge. There wasn't anyone to see my strange moves, and I confess that I liked the privacy, the one I had not experienced since I arrived. Some would say it's dangerous to let me alone in such a high place, and they are probably right. However, I trusted my balance more than Kikamaru, or Gaara, or anyone else. I could guarantee it was some of my best shinobi qualities.

"I'm not going to cry…" I started to sing accomplishing my steps. My voice wasn't the greatest, or the sweetest for singing, but it never kept me from doing so. "I will stay in the woods…" My husky voice reciting one of my clan's songs made me feel a chill in my belly as I advanced the verses. "When my heart is aching, I dance with the wolves."

I stopped when I got track of a familiar smell. I viewed the whole village another time, and followed by laughs and barks, I spotted who I wanted to find. I closed my fists in anger when I saw that Kikamaru was truly accomplishing Kankuro with excited barks. I waited nervously for them to turn to the street where the building was located, and when they did, I immediately jumped from the rooftop's edge on Kankuro to immobilize him.

My legs held his as I was literally sitting on his body, and my arms were keeping him on the ground pushing his chest. I smelled his face, and after a ravenous expression from both of us, I provoked.

"Who do you think you are?!" I screamed while he was still trying to understand what made him fall. I scratched his chest and his stupid cat clothes, until his arms pushed me away.

When he opened his eyes, he lowered his eyebrows.

"What are you doing, Kegawa?" He got up cleaning his clothes, that now were torn. "What the hell!"

I turned to check Kikamaru, who was laid down watching everything, and answered him.

"Who do you think you are? Taking my dog away from me?" I pointed at her approaching him once again. "She should be with me! And only!"

Kankuro stood calm, just like his brother when I met him.

"You are jealous." He giggled. "She followed me because she wanted. I didn't force her at all, see?" He presented her, who was free and watching spontaneously.

I stared at her selfish eyes, who didn't seem to understand my feelings at all. The pain in my chest, chills in my veins, everything reflected by her ignorance. I could say that she didn't care about me one more time.

"Kikamaru…" I walked towards her and kneeled to hold her scruff. She refused and threatened to bite me.

"You don't own her, Kegawa." Kankuro said crossing his arms confidently. "Let her go."

I clenched my fists as Kankuro ordered me to do something that was related to my dog. I should be a dog master, only Kegawa must know how to treat her dog! The only exception would be Gaara, and only advising.

"What do you know about her?!" I growled. "Don't tell me what to do!"

"Don't be stubborn." He said swiftly walking away. Kikamaru stood looking his moves, and after hesitating, followed his steps.

"Kikamaru! You are my ninken!" I shouted, and predictably, she didn't turn to watch me beg for her cooperation.

"If you want to control her so much, why don't you seal her in a scroll?" Kankuro asked me loudly, already far away. Kikamaru looked at him, and then stopped, threatening his question.

"This is not an Inuzuka way to deal with ninkens…" I said and Kankuro stopped.

"But it's easier, indeed." Kikamaru growled as the man continued to insist in the idea.

"Yes."

Kikamaru barked at him several times. "No, no, no."

"What?" He asked her.

"We don't cage our beasts. I am aware of scrolls, and its facility, but I prefer to suffer my whole life than isolating my dog from me."

"That's noble." He clapped twice, and walked towards me to make Kikamaru get closer. I kneeled again, and she almost let me pet her. I think she was relieved from the fact that I still wanted to follow the Inuzuka's mores.

"What happened with you, anyways?" I felt Kankuro touch sweetly my back with his hands, which made my spine shiver and a wave of a bright pain swim in it. "Your back is bloody."

I sighed as I would have to explain again, and he seemed to not be part of the public who saw me and Gaara together.

"Briefly saying, clan problems."

"The Nekkokas…?"

I nodded.

"I didn't understand very well why they were after us, but they were."

"They are probably coming back, Kegawa." Kankuro held my hand close to his chest. "If you want me to, I will work on it and you won't have to worry." I blushed in front of this flirtatious scene.

"You are right. Two ninkens working separated, and he told something about giving visibility to the clan." I stared at his eyes, ignoring the purple makeup that was so attention calling. "But… How can I trust you if you look like… no offense, but, a cat lover?"

Kankuro giggled as he took his hood off. It was news for me that he actually had normal hair.

"I find dogs nice as well. Don't worry, I already fought along another Inuzuka."

I tried to avoid myself from growling. Of course he was mentioning Kiba, always Kiba.

"Why would you ever bother yourself with it?" I crossed my arms. "I mean, you don't even know me and I just attacked you."

"Hum." Kankuro groaned pretending to be thinking serious. "I can give you a hundred reasons why. First, you are from the Hidden Leaf, a village that we still have a huge debt. Second, I liked your dog. Third, you are my guest, remember? Fourth, I am looking forward to know what the Nekkokas may be planning. Fifth, a th-"

"That's enough, Kankuro. Thank you." I smiled exhibiting my sharp teeth after cutting off his answer. "No resentment about the clothes?" I pointed at his torn black vestments.

"Oh, not at all. You are going to fix it, aren't you?" He slid his hands from my shirt to my naked shoulders. Then, he unattached the collar that I was wearing since the trust training suggested by Kiba and Gaara.

He knew the art of persuasion, and I totally fell for it. I had no sure about what was he wanting for real. My highest bet would be to see a living wild cat with his own eyes, and maybe create a puppet out of it. For a cat lover, I bet it would be a normal wish.

"Put it back." I said trying to make him stop getting uncomfortably close.

"Your neck is marked." His fingers rubbed the scars and the marks that the leather collar would naturally leave me with.

"I don't care." I waited patiently him to put it back on my neck, avoiding to pay attention to the touch.

"Done." He viewed his hand, which was shedding my crimson blood. "You need to go back to the hospital, Kegawa."

"Oh, and I hate you." I cried as he held my hand to lead me.

"Nah. And I noticed you are bleeding by the dryness, uh?"

"Maybe."

"I have a very nice remedy for it, you are going to like it." Kankuro giggled.

"What do you know about me to say that I am going to like it?" I growled.

"I don't know, but most kunoichis from Konoha that stays in this desert do."

His hand stood holding mine guiding through the village until we arrive in a greenhouse. I looked at him and Kikamaru, who seemed to be used to the scenery. We walked in, and Kankuro started to search for bottles that I didn't understand, in the middle of lots of plants. The other ninjas who were working didn't notice I was there with Kikamaru, something I was relieved about.

When he came back for me, there was a green rag and a capped test tube in his hands.

"Are you going to kidnap me?" I asked pointing to the suspicious bottle. "Because if you are doing so, it will be easier with much elixir and sake."

Kankuro made a confused expression and looked at the objects.

"Just breathe it when you have time. I promise you will be alright."

He was so confident that I suspected. Additionally, he asked me again to trust him without concrete evidence.

"Did you make it?"

I don't trust medications from strangers. And obviously, for me he was a stranger. I don't care if he was Gaara's relative.

"I didn't create the formula, but it was made by me when Temari's friend came. Our village is located in a high place, and the dryness is... violent for shinobis from Konoha."

I was surprised how Temari had friends from my village. I never heard of her there, and with that personality, I wondered who would come this far to get sick.

"Give me that." I said harshly reaching out for the rag, and prepared myself to smell it.

He immediately stopped me from doing so holding my wrists and distanced them from my body, and lifted his index finger to reprimand.

"I just told you to use only when you have time!"

"I have plenty now."

"Just... when you are resting. You may have some collateral effects."

"What collateral effects?" I asked stepping back worried.

"It is hard to explain, but it's nice and colorful." He smiled once again. I hesitated about buying the idea, and I decided to postpone such remedy for another time, with another person.

"This is super weird, Kankuro. Who was Temari's friend who used it?" I asked. If the person was a total freak, I would know that it wasn't a good idea at all, as there wouldn't be any example.

"Her name is Tenten, from Team Nine."

"Oh, really? I heard of her."

Okay, Tenten was known by her ability to use weapons. I found it a risky ability to develop, but it didn't make her crazy in anyway in my judgment. I was nearly convinced.

I wondered how Tenten and Temari got along, she seems to be such a cute girl.

"How do they know each other?" I asked him.

"They fought against each other in Chuunin's exams. Temari, obviously, won." He giggled.

"I can imagine..." I shivered when he mentioned 'Chuunin's exams', when I remembered that only one of my partners succeeded the second time they tried. "Kankuro, are you a chuunin?"

"Jounin." He answered positively. "Aren't you?"

I stood silent as my head turned in denial.

"Why? How old are you, Kegawa?" He seemed surprised. "I mean, you are an Inuzuka. I am sure you can."

"I am fifteen. I failed the first time with my team in the second phase. My partners tried twice, and only one of them was approved in the third phase."

"And why didn't you go with them? I mean, they would have more chances if they were with the original team."

"I know, but I understand I am not prepared while Kikamaru and me have issues. Like my aunt says, I don't deserve."

Kankuro, unsatisfied with my situation, crossed him arms waiting for anyone to speak. The way he said made me feel defective. The name that I have carried importance and honor, but the way I was being left behind, crawling while Kiba and Yuu, my partner, ran, made me want to hide from duties. I hated every time we had to go in a mission. Yuu used to plan, I advance alone, Yuu save me destroying the enemy and Neru take care of me.

"I promise, Kegawa, when you leave Sunagakure, you will be perfect to take Chuunin's exams. Be patient." Kankuro smiled and stroked my shoulder. "I graduated when I was sixteen, so you still have time. You are not late."

His sweet words made me feel comfortable for some time, as my hugest worry was how late and lost I was. Kankuro held my hand one more time, and then we got out of the greenhouse to lead me to the hospital again. I confess that even disliking, I think I deserved some rest from the pain I was carrying literally on my back. Temari was right, I have a weak body.


	15. Lie

"I swear, it's not going to hurt." Kankuro cried as I doubted his remedy. "Your nose is bleeding again!"

I was sitting on the hospital bed, where I was spending my next days while everyone did anything useful. Even the nurse assured me that the medication Kankuro was offering was safe, but my stubborn side convinced me that they were two planning something as I would have to trust my nose and all the chakra concentrated in it. I found so out of me just to accept the regular pills that the woman was giving me twice a day, they were totally pushing it.

"Don't force it." I pushed him away from me, and got up to watch the day by the window. My position made them be able to see my wound on my back, and notice that after some treatment, everything was getting better. Of course, I still prefer Tsunade's way, or even Neru's way, my team partner who was taking medical classes.

"It's going to be fine." His warm words lightened the room, and the nurse left us alone.

If it wasn't for Kankuro to accomplish me, I would have been very bored there. I didn't see anyone else for days, besides the nurse. Gaara never visited me again after the second night, when he left a yellow flower in front of my door, and I wondered about what he was doing without his brand-new student. I was glad, because I was almost forgetting our issue while his brother softened my memories, telling me stories about their childhood.

I could see Gaara in a more human way when Kankuro told me exactly what happened to drive him insane, as Temari described, and how he was rehabilitated by Naruto. Yes, that boy that my mother warned me so much when I was a child. I didn't know why she used to tell me to stay away from him, but children usually are afraid of what their parents are as well, so I just used to do what she told. I felt guilty about how we treated him. Not only Naruto, but all the Jinchuurikis around the world. Temari was right about being pissed off with me after my speech the last time she spoke, but just saying that I was sorry would not be enough to make things right.

And to be honest, I wasn't willing to make anything right yet. Maybe in a more favorable time.

I spotted Gaara crossing the streets of his village from above, and all the thoughts about our last meeting came in my head. He was reading a book again, walking slower than the average people, like he was waiting for something to happen.

I confess that I was dying to open the window to scream that I was there, and wanted his attention. However, I was too stubborn and selfish to demonstrate that I missed his presence, and screaming from so far wouldn't differentiate myself from the crowd.

"What do you have to tell me today, Kankuro?" I asked him smiling to the view.

"What do you mean?"

"News about the village? Or family?"

He stood silent, and I turned around to understand what was going on.

"What happened, Kankuro?"

He sighed.

"Well, Temari is training to become a Jounin, and Gaara is always in his office. He asked me this morning to become your teacher."

I widened my eyes as he said his last sentence.

"What?!" I shouted at him. "Why would he ask such thing?"

Kankuro didn't say anything again. I think I made him uncomfortable rejecting so quickly his classes.

"I mean, I was having progress with him. Why the change?"

My heart skipped faster as I noticed that I was feeling as rejected as him.

"I don't know, maybe he doesn't have time for you anymore. It must be difficult to concentrate on teaching and ruling."

I didn't want to believe in him, or in the judgment of who decided that leaving me with anyone but my teacher. I stared back at the window, where Gaara was standing silently, as usual.

"This is not true." I said to myself, but Kankuro heard as well.

Gaara closed his book, and accomplishing his steps, I saw a girl approaching him to talk. I stood watching as I cursed her mentally, while I felt the chills in my belly and the heat on my cheeks.

The girl was Matsuri, and after changing some words, stroke him a hug. Or at least she tried to, because his arms stood crossed. However, he didn't distance himself from her.

"What the hell!" I punched the glass window, which luckily didn't break. Why was she hugging him? And why was he letting her do it?

And why the hell were these unquiet feelings starting to grow inside me?

"What happened?" Kankuro asked me getting up to see what I saw, but he didn't spot anything because they were already gone.

I tried to breathe to calm down, as I usually do, but I couldn't even start to inspire and expire slowly. I could feel my warm face and obvious bothered expression.

"I need explanations, now!" I said furiously, getting ready to change the hospital uniform to my regular clothes. "I will see the Kazekage today."

I think Kankuro understood some parts of my intentions, because he didn't try to stop me like normally people did when I left the hospital earlier heading to the political building. If he was as busy as people say, he could only have gone to his office, clearly.

I walked in the place, that was crowded by men in white tunics again, and I practically shouted to the same receptionist whom I left the message with.

"I need to see the Kazekage now!"

"I'm sorry, but the Kazekage is busy n-" He cut off his sentence when he glanced at me the first time. "You! You are the Inuzuka lady!"

"Yes, why? I need now!"

"It is known that you are property of the Kazekage. Of course, I will fit you in his schedule now."

I was about to respond in an unpolite way my wrath when he said I was property of someone, but I carried on because he was going to a huge favor for me thinking like that.

"Don't let her spoil Gaara!" One of the man who was in white screamed for us. I immediately made more enraged expression than I was already having, if that was even possible.

"Are you crazy? Gaara will finally be completely tamed if he stays with the girl!" Another man replied in the discussion in a ravenous position.

"Who guarantees that she won't manipulate him to destroy our home?" More men started to discuss and shout in their different opinions about me, and instead of taking any position, I supported my arms on the receptionist's desk to demand my visit now.

"You have five minutes with him, but it has to be now!" The man in the other side of desk said to me already pointing at the way I should take, leaving the mess behind while I tried the most to ignore the comments that were hurting my psychological. The echoes of the crowd made me run as fast as I could, until I found the right office and quickly opened the door.

"Gaara!" I gasped trying to restore my lungs, staring at his desk and his frightened position. He wasn't expecting me at all.

"Kegawa?! What are you doing here?" He slowly got up surprised and I got closer in the same rhythm. "I told you to stay away."

He was wearing formal clothes, that were a white and blue fancy tunic and a long white scarf. I had never seen Gaara so clean, without red fight coats and a gourd ready to attack. Felt like my heart had been pierced by who I was looking at.

"Why did you leave me?" I said staring at his green eyes. The surprised expression faded, and now his regular face was the only one staring at me back.

"I didn't leave you."

"You didn't visit me, and Kankuro said that you were no longer my teacher."

Gaara sighed.

"I only did it because I thought you wanted it that way."

"Why in the world would you think like that?" I growled.

"Temari said you weren't interested in my help anymore." He said resuming his work with the papers.

Temari, that snake girl. When she said about Gaara realizing something, I didn't expect that she was going to tell him anything. I found it so childish involving him in our discussion.

"I didn't say that." I said with a harsh tone, crossing my arms just like him.

"So, Temari is lying?"

I was not going to lie to the Kazekage, obviously, but I had to find a way to show the wickedness of his sister without burning myself with her. I believe that accusing somebody's relative of anything would create a bad relationship for both, the accused and the accuser.

"I was talking about something else. I believe she misunderstood me."

"Is it?" He relaxed on his chair and supported his elbows on the desk.

"I only want to be with you." The selfishness on my voice was visible, but I think he didn't have enough social skills to notice it.

"I don't understand, what were you talking about, then?"

I widened my eyes. What did Temari tell him? If she told lies and truth, all mixed up, it would be harder to explain.

"It is only between me and Temari."

"I don't care."

Didn't Gaara understand the meaning of privacy? Reading my letters, answering them, asking about private conversations... He was pissing me off.

I took a deep breath. I tried my best all these days to avoid thinking on our talk, and now I needed to rescue them from my ragged memory.

"We were talking about love interest. It was nothing about classes, just girl talk. She had no need to tell you such things." I stared at his eyes that were staring at me back. I couldn't read him. "Forget it."

Noises from downstairs started to echo in the hallway, and I knew that it was only a bunch of men's stupid opinions about a hypothetical situation that didn't even make sense. I wondered if Gaara cared about his nation's rumors, or carried on. I can imagine how awkward rumors people can make up about him. However, those people who were arguing weren't just common people, I believe they were politicians that actually can change a village's future. Something that I found unprofessional, exposing their opinions without thinking about consequences.

"I imagine that you were hearing people talk." His cold stare made my wound hurt, and all I did was contain the pain. "People talk a lot about everything."

"I know." I blushed as I realized that he was really talking about what I thought he was. "They were... only provoking me."

"I told you to stay away. If you insist in having my presence back, and claiming that my sister only misunderstood you, don't ever complain about it." I approached him as he cleared the situation for me.

"I accept it. I never said I di-."

"After all, how would you be interested in the beast who made you see the most horrible scene in your life?" He cut off my phrase to challenge me. My heart was beating in my throat, and my red eyes widened to hear such speech. Now I knew that Temari had told him everything.

"Gaara..." The air inside my lungs made the smoothest tone I could ever create, without sounding like a child.

Gaara got up.

"I don't understand, Kegawa. You came here to ask for my help, but said such thing to my sister. I am already tired of being betrayed! Decide yourself!" He shouted at me clenching his fists and supporting his arms on the desk. My body trembled and my stomach almost froze.

Now I could read something in him. His eyes were trembling in the same discomfort as when he visited me the first time in the hospital. It wasn't about Temari anymore, I had to deal with my own thoughts now.

"I am not betraying you!" I gulped, trying to keep my vision on whom I was talking with. " I confess I fear you, yes! But at the same time, I understand that I need you, and I don't want to be with anyone else."

Gaara was paralyzed, and I could hear that his breathing turned into something very slow and deep. I approached to hold his shoulders because I couldn't stand his eyes drifting away from me.

"You need me." He whispered. I noticed that his arms wanted to move, but for some reason, they stood the same supported by the desk. "Why would I believe in you, Kegawa? How can I assure you're not lying again?"

"I didn't lie! Of course I do, Gaara!" I held his hand just like Kankuro use to hold, and led to my heart.

"I-I..." Stammered his words cutting any sound that may have remained from the hallway. I only had my ears to hear him. "Need you to promise, you are going to be sincere with me."

I looked at his lips, that were trembling as much as his eyes, and nodded. Then, his left hand was put on my cheek to be caressed, exactly where my clan painting was. It was getting warmer, and I tried to do the same as I didn't want to be the one paralyzed. Mine were cold.

We heard swift knocks on the door, and then a creek.

"Mister Kazekage, it's time." The receptionist stepped into the Kazekage's office. I turned around from Gaara to see clearly, and he was graceless staring at the scene and our position. "I am sorry to bother, but the meeting is almost starting."

Impatient, he stood waiting for Gaara to move away from me and follow him. I confess I was bothered and wanted some more minutes with him, but I thought it was amazing just to know we were fine. What could I do? He was the Kazekage, and I couldn't be more important than his whole schedule. Anyway, I wanted to be able to interfere, hold his hand and ask for him to stay with me.

That wouldn't be polite, Kegawa.

I let him go, and he went in the front to the left, heading to the meeting chamber of Sunagakure Council. I accomplished until where I could, and then went downstairs, avoiding much light and men. In the ground floor, I spotted Kikamaru, who was waiting for me outside the building. When I reached her, she got up from her relaxed position and stared at me with her green eyes ready to bark.

"What, you, do."

"Just clearing stuff between people." I smiled, but then it just faded away when I remembered the scene that I saw by the window today. "Damn, I forgot to ask about Matsuri." I clenched my fists, as I noticed that I just lost the opportunity.

"She, care?" Kikamaru asked.

"I don't know, I had questions about her."

"She, no, care." My dog stated. I smiled again, maybe she was right. Matsuri is no threat to me, I just had to have self-control. If Temari isn't the lying type, Gaara had seen something in me, and I was not going to throw it away.


	16. Fix

Me and Kikamaru were walking swiftly through the shops to see anything interesting. I already said I liked Suna, but I wanted to feel a little more in it. Therefore, I tried on and actually bought some desert style clothes. For a moment, I thought about what Gaara was going to think about it. He didn't seem to care about appropriation, as I thought he wasn't the jealous type about his culture. In the other hand, the sellers and customers found weird that I was looking like I wanted to be accepted in the village's culture. They practically already knew who I was after everything, and they could be in any side. They had to understand that I didn't care at all if they thought I was going to destroy or save this village, as it at least needed to be saved. It was mean, anyway. They were attacking or Gaara or me in hypothesis. However, I am not diplomatic, and I believe it is difficult to end rumors when they appear.

I just wanted to see how I looked in a tunic, and Kikamaru in small sandals to run without stumbling over stones and the sand itself.

Both of us were pacing the establishments when we heard someone calling my name. I found annoying as we were already avoiding the sunlight, and consequently, more agitation.

"Inuzuka-san!" A male voice made me turn around.

I analyzed who was talking to me. He was wearing a beige scarf and a brown tunic, despite the standard accessories that everyone wears.

He stretched his hand holding a letter.

"Mail?" I asked taking the paper. He was the man who owns the bird carriers.

"Yes. I was informed that you would be in the Suna Hospital. I am glad you are better."

"Who informed you?" The recipient was me, Kegawa Inuzuka, but the sender wasn't from my family. It was written "Isha clan". It could only be Neru, from my team in the Hidden Leaf Village.

"The Kazekage, when he received your mail for you."

"Oh. You shouldn't have allowed him to take my correspondence."

The man widened his brown eyes.

"I am sorry, Inuzuka-san, but I believe I have no choice but obey the Kazekage."

When I looked at him again, he was already gone. Kikamaru barked asking what was that, and all I could do was lift my arms in confusion. I was curious about what Neru could be possibly going to tell me, but reading aloud in the middle of the streets wouldn't be the smartest. Kikamaru got annoyed noticing that she would have to wait until we get to Temari's home.

Temari.

On the way, I stood thinking more about how I would act when I see the girl who almost choked me. I was fine with Gaara and Kankuro, but I couldn't just avoid her existence in her own house. Would I swallow my ego to her and try to fix thing up? In theory this would be much easier than facing her in reality. I wished she had just let me take care of my relations without meddling as much as I wanted to have just shut my mouth.

My impulsive trait was slowly giving me problems, and while I always tried to convince myself that it was them, not me, people were plucking exactly what they wanted from me.

I thought several times about knocking the door to see if there was anyone inside when I stood in front of the house, but if Temari was there, she would know that I instantly fled from her. I didn't want her to have the taste of my fear, and I wasn't going to allow. I stared one more moment the yellow door, while Kikamaru was already bored of such delay. Then, I stretched my hand to the knob.

"Are you going to enter, or not?" Temari opened the door, making me step back with the movement.

I tried to disguise my flutter when I glanced at her blue eyes, recognizing the woman who was wearing a black tunic with red details. My only relief, that made me calm down a little faster, was that she wasn't holding her huge fan on her back. Then, I nodded and entered in the house with Kikamaru.

Temari wasn't laughing at me as I thought she would, something I immediately respected on her. I didn't want to accept that she was more mature than me, and probably wasn't even thinking about the same things. She seemed calm with my presence, unlike me, who was having a frozen neck and belly. Then, I recognized the ambient, when she tried to choke me against the wall.

"Kankuro said you are training to become a Jounin." I broke the tense air in my lungs when I spoke.

"Yes." She crossed her arms, but her expression didn't match her body language. She didn't look confident like the Temari I had met. "And of course, I already have the recommendation. I don't need to do much."

"Hope you are right." I replied. I know she was strong enough to beat half of the ninjas I knew together, but I can imagine that in a Jounin Exam, everything is more difficult and less obvious. However, I couldn't discuss about it. I wasn't even Chuunin. Anyways, she was losing by the Kazekage title, and Kankuro's Jounin's rank. "I thought that, you being the oldest, would be in the highest rank."

"Kankuro just became Jounin. I am not behind anyone." Her eyebrows lowered as her rough voice aimed to my ego. "And I don't have interest in ranks, I am confident about my skills."

Maybe she was right. And maybe I should consider her way of thinking about herself and apply on me. Not that I was asking too much from myself, but perhaps stop focusing in ranks, but in ability would do me some good.

"And what about you? Shouldn't you consider applying to Chuunin's Exams?"

I widened my eyes and only by speaking those words together, my heart started to beat faster.

"How do you know I am not a Chuunin?"

"Kankuro told me. Family talks about many things, you know..." Temari provoked me.

"Sometimes they talk too much."

I had to control myself. I wanted to fix thing, not destroy even more.

I thought I was over it after my conversation with Kankuro, but apparently, I was still insecure about it.

"I am serious, Kegawa. You can't be a Genin all your life, so I would recommend you train hard enough to succeed in the next that will be coming."

"I know. I am working on it." I tried to smile at her. Was she helping me? "After all, that's why I am here."

Temari didn't smile back, but she seemed to understand me.

She was about to leave when I collected enough courage to say what I was planning.

"Temari, I want to apologize."

She turned around to see me with widened eyes.

"Apologize?" She asked me, crossing her arms again. I stood with my head down, because I could easily change my mind if I saw a response expression that provoked me.

"Yes. I got in your family's way, and said awful things about your brother that were not true. I am sorry about that."

"You did..." She whispered thoughtful. I stood waiting for anything more from her, in a hopeful look. "I wonder what are you going to do."

"What do you mean?"

Temari sighed.

"Words are words. Maybe you are sorry about it, but I still believe you are influencing Gaara's emotions and don't know what he is capable of."

"So, what do you advise me to do?"

"I already said. Succeed Chuunin's Exams, training in your village, with your own clan."

That words felt like a knife in my belly. She was giving me a simple solution that I couldn't buy.

"I can't go back. Haven't I said?" I lifted my voice. "I can only come back when I become strong. And now, I can't even fight against a Nekkoka without being sent to hospital."

"This is the reason why I asked Gaara to transfer you to Kankuro."

"And I refused it. We were making a progress that no teacher ever did with me. I am telling you, there is nothing to change!"

"Seems that you only want to complain instead of trying to make things work."

Now it made sense. She wasn't looking for more trouble with me, and her intentions weren't as childish as I thought. Anyway, I was great in the way I was, the only way that worked.

Temari left the house and I sat in the kitchen chair with Kikamaru. She was so quiet while I was in a discussing, like her amusement was to watch things heat up. I don't think Kikamaru would burn herself to support her partner's stubborn trait. Happily for her, I would do the same.

My mind tried to change from Temari to Neru, but I stood thinking about how I was judging too much her from what I saw superficially about her. I opened the letter and started to read what Neru's calligraphy was representing.

"Hello, Kegawa. It's Neru! I hope you are having a great time in the Sand Village." I read aloud her first sentences and I was already annoyed with so much introduction. "Me and Yuu had to visit the Hokage because we received a mission, but she seems to be not aware that you left Konoha. I tried to find you, and your family said that you are training in Sunagakure. However, even explaining the situation and the deal you made with your clan, she said it's unacceptable to leave like this, and you will suffer consequences if you don't return now." I widened my eyes and desperately looked at Kikamaru, who was surprised as well. My heart stood beating the fastest it could while I finished reading it. "Please, Kegawa, I tried to talk with her with the information I have about you, but she is already addressing you as a missing-nin. I talked with your family, but they refuse to interfere. They say you need to fix this as an adult. Kegawa, you should have consulted us before leaving! Our sensei can't do anything either. Please, fix this and give me updates!"

I finished reading with my heart on my mouth. Tsunade was asking me things I could not give.

And missing-nin? Was she crazy? I understand I left without saying anything, but I thought my mother would at least notify her. And why she wasn't going to explain anything? It was Tsume's idea! Were they trying to get rid of me? My own clan?

I just didn't want more problems. The thought of me three weeks ago, when I was in my room, sleeping happily without worries made me envious. I was happy and I didn't know. I couldn't choose between my village and my clan. I mean, clans are just a part of the village, but both are my home, and choosing only one wouldn't let me live or solve anything.

The worst part was that I didn't have any ideas.

I turned the letter around to see if there was anything more that would lighten me.

"Sent by Kiimaru."

Kiimaru, Yuu's bird.

I smiled a little. The thought of a piece of Yuu visiting me made me a little more comfortable. I still loved to hate him the same way when we were kids, and I felt I was a little better when we used to compare our fighting skills.

With the inspiration I had, I took a pencil and started to write a response letter for Neru and Yuu, my family, and Tsunade. I didn't have much diplomacy, and all my letters were only a sentence long. However, I had to convince and put my heart on it.

I was in a minefield, but Kiimaru could fly over it. Is this the way adults solve their problems, mother?


	17. Think

I waited patiently the following days for a response from Konoha. I tried to avoid social actions the most, and spent the time focused on the training with Kikamaru. Now that I was donating more chakra to her, I could see that our Double Headed Wolf was progressing and finally stronger. We were waking up earlier than our housemates, and used to go back to sleep only when they were already sleeping. I have seen Gaara in the field in the days he was meant to help us, but I tried to ignore him more than how he was with Matsuri. I felt like I was following what Temari advised me to do, if I wanted to stay alive in Sunagakure.

I confess that, in the short times when the Kazekage came to set my posture lifting my arms to help me aim better, I could feel the heat waves swimming in me as his breath reached my neck. Only if I could say that I wanted him to give me more attention, I'd be the most satisfied Inuzuka ever. Also, the least egocentric. I was already convincing myself that I was wasting too much time thinking about Gaara and considered changing to Kankuro's team. Temari was a smart woman, but as I said before, I would not give her my taste. Like a cold war.

By the way, I noticed that Matsuri wasn't there anymore. The last time I saw her was from the window when I was still on hospital. I thanked the universe for that. She wasn't in my way. I just had to expand it to everyone who wasn't me and Kikamaru.

I was proud about how we were getting closer to Kiba's skills. In all these weeks, I added two more Inuzuka jutsus to my fighting style, besides my brand new ninken's utilities. The only thing that was bothering me was that I noticed I had no experience with my chakra nature. I didn't know which was, either. Maybe I would ask my teacher to find out when I become more relaxed with the cooperation jutsu. One technique at time.

"More, strength." Kikamaru barked at me, about the way I was moving. We weren't close to create the vacuum vortex that my father used to do, like in the last time I saw him.

"Dad didn't seem to use it this way. He was simple." I contested.

"Reason, why, dad, dead." She replied.

I stood silent. I wasn't the closest person to father, but talking like that about him was mean, in Kikamaru's part. He knew how to fight, and was my example, instead of competition.

"Why are you like this?" I asked shredding the dummy with my feral fangs.

"Dad, half, blood." She rolled her eyes and yawned. "Not, know, fighting."

"He died to save us and you still despise him for not being full-blood?!" I yelled and growled at her with my wolf eyes staring at hers. Kikamaru just undone the jutsu and barked.

"Enough. If, you, care, you, would, not, travel, Sunagakure."

I sighed.

She was right. My father died in Orochimaru's attack in Konohagakure, with Sunagakure's help.

And there I was, standing in their training field.

"You know they were forced. If Tsunade ordered us to kill them, we would have to do it too. They are allies now."

Kikamaru wasn't convinced, one more time. This discussion never improved because of her ego.

"So, you, forgave, Gaara."

With clenched fists, I stepped closer.

"He had nothing to do with it."

"Lies." Kikamaru grumbled.

"As you wish." I said, starting to breathe slowly. I can't understand how insensible my dog can be sometimes with her kunoichi. I had already been convinced by my family that Sunagakure had apologized by their mistakes, and the only one who could be completely blamed was Orochimaru. It was something about three years ago that was still causing trouble.

Talking about Orochimaru, I remembered that I had to see if any response had arrived. I couldn't be addressed as I missing-nin, in any way. Tsunade may be overreacting, but I understand that after Sasuke's betrayal, she couldn't trust anyone who stepped without her permission. Kikamaru followed me to the bird keeper, without saying a word. When we arrived, there was another man waiting to be attended. I leaned on the wall while he spoke to the owner of the establishment.

"Hello, may I help you?" The owner asked.

"Yes, is there any mail for Kegawa Inuzuka?"

I widened my eyes and interfered immediately.

"What are you doing?" I yelled pushing him. Both stared at me.

"Kazekage's orders."

Indignant, I stared at the owner, who was about to give my correspondence.

"I'm sorry, kid, but I can't disobey our Kazekage."The owner said before handing him a pack of letters, and Kikamaru started to growl at them.

I should have complained about it when I had the chance. Why was Gaara still wanting to destroy my privacy?

"He is not my Kage." I stole the pack from his hands and walked away before they could do anything about it. For them, it wasn't a big deal. I mean, the Kazekage has so much to worry, and his subordinates knew that.

I counted the number of papers in my hand. One, two, three messages. Before sitting in a bench to read aloud the first, from the Isha clan, I took a deep breath. Kikamaru sat in front of me to hear, very supportive. My heart calmed down when she licked my knees.

"Read." Kikamaru ordered.

"Hello again, Kegawa. It's me, Neru, and I am writing to warn you because Tsunade just told me that if you don't come back in seven days, you are going to be treated as an official missing-nin and will be replaced in our team." I widened my eyes to Kikamaru, who was trying to show some confidence so I would be less emotionally affected. " I tried to discuss, but she won't listen to me. Your family said that they will stand in their position about it. Please, fix this. I will do anything for you that is in my reach."

I tried to hold an emotionless expression to my ninken. I was already expecting bad news from Neru, but I still had hope from the Senju clan.

"Next, Hokage." Kikamaru grunted.

I still had two left, one from the Inuzuka clan, and from the Hokage. I confess I feared both, as Tsume gave the exact discomfort as Tsunade.

"Greetings, Kegawa Inuzuka. I received your message, and I am here for a response. As you already know, you are in a situation that I have no choice but demand you to attend my office in less than seven days. If you don't come, you will have to deal the consequences of a missing-nin. I can't take any risks, and lesser now that one of the genins of your generation is a missing-nin too. Best regards, Tsunade Senju, Hokage of Konohagakure."

The letter was short, shorter than what I was prepared.

I slowly lowered my hands while I was still swallowing the fact that things were pressing me, and that all my pretty words in a paper and a good calligraphy led me to nothing.

"How, much, time?" Kikamaru asked.

I wiped my tears when I read that she sent it two days ago.

"We have five days." I started to laugh in my desperate crying when I realized I was much more choked than when Temari discussed with me. "I-It's already a three day travel to Konoha, so we h-have only two days to figure that out, Kikamaru."

I thought that I would have a solution if I were diplomatic enough, but I was wrong. I didn't solve anything, mother! I am no adult, I am just a child. I already had no hope about what my clan would say to me, so Kikamaru hugged me to calm me down.

"I-I don't know what to do, Kikamaru! I don't want to be executed!" My tears soaked my dog's white pelt as her sharp cries mixed with the sound of my trembling mouth. I thought that the desert would never see me fall apart. It was supposed to dry my tears and make me a strong woman, and not dragging me into a criminal state and consequently, become a fugitive.

"I-It's all Tsume's fault! She needs to fix that!"

Ravenous, I opened the last letter close to my sight to read what my clan had to tell me. I didn't have any hope as Neru said they didn't move a finger for me, and when I read the three-lined message, I knew I was right.

"It's your problem, Kegawa. Find a way, fix it alone. You accepted the deal without thinking about it, we are sick of having problems with you."

I pressed Kikamaru's body against mine while I tried to contain my tears, without success. Even with my dog's support, I was feeling alone again. Nobody wanted to smoothen what was happening, and the closest to do such thing had no power or use for me.

Is it how the world works, mother? In the end, we are all alone?

I read it again, and I had no doubts that who wrote this was my aunt. My mother would never say that she was sick of me like Tsume would. I can't understand why she didn't write me back. Was Tsume hiding what I sent from her? I was afraid that Kaori Inuzuka wasn't even aware about her daughter's state.

Nevertheless, I can't imagine that she would be able to do anything even if she were sitting by my side.

Blended with my desperation, there was my anger. I didn't want to get the blame, because the last thing I agreed was that I had anything to do with it. It was my family, my teachers, my team. None of them wanted to understand me.

"It's all your fault, Kikamaru!" I howled rabidly at her pointing my finger. "Why are you so mean with me? If you had been a little more cooperative when we were younger, we would be so comfortable at home!"

Kikamaru stared at my trembling eyes, emotionless, and left my lap to sit on the ground. She could have growled and bitten me, as she always did when we fought, or even when she was in a bad mood, but she didn't. My dog only made my eyes connect with her green tone while I insulted her, and make me see how the selfishness had disappeared from my view. I knew I saw the difference when I could recognize a friend in them.

I wasn't being fair, so I took a deep breath.

"I am sorry, and so tired, Kikamaru. I miss home." I lamented, and Kikamaru smoothly bit my hand to lead me home. I hoped she wasn't broken hearted with my words.

As I could at least call it 'home'. Home normally is addressed when we belong to somewhere. I didn't belong to Temari's house, and seemed to not be wanted either. My only family now was Kikamaru, and the safest place I could be was by her side, in our loyalty to each other.

"I promise I won't distrust you again, Kikamaru." I whispered to her recomposing my normal voice. "We had several issues about that, and now that we are starting to know each other, I don't want to lose it."

"We, train, well." Kikamaru commented and I nodded. I had a big wolf by my side, compared to Akamaru, who by her age, was still a small puppy.

"I hope we fight for the same reasons. I don't want you to think I am only using you as a weapon."

"Not, worry."

Both of us arrived at the house in a tired mood. After checking if there was anybody home, I laid on the bed and prepared myself to kill the time pretending to be sleeping. I had no forces to continue the day out of the bed, and if I wanted to figure out what to do, we had to rest from the hard training of the day.

The Sun was going down, and the window of my bedroom was starting to paint the yellow walls to red and dark orange tones. The shadows were getting darker and bigger, and Kikamaru's white fur was turning into a grayish color while she was by my side of the bed. My eyes were closed all afternoon, but now they were opened, following every move that the light did. I wished I could stop these watercolors from changing, so maybe I would have more time to enjoy the horizon instead of planning how to be alive after forty-eight hours and counting.

I quietly pushed Kikamaru's warm body away from me, allowing me to get up without waking her up after hearing the door opening. By the smell, I knew that Kankuro had just arrived. He had a pleasing strong fragrance, like lemon mixed with alcohol and grease, probably by the way he used perfumes plus the methods of construction of his puppets.

"Hello, Kankuro." I showed a little excitement seeing him.

"Oh, hey, Kegawa. You arrived earlier today. Done with your Double Headed Wolf?"

"Partially." I swallowed my heart remembering today again. I tried to stop my arms from shivering, but it was pretty visible that I was tense. If Kankuro cared enough, he would ask what was happening. However, I knew that, in the end, we were all alone. I wouldn't open my problems if he wasn't interested.

"I see you are tense." He paid attention to my body language asking for support. "You should ease your training."

So, he just presumed what was happening.

"I-I know." I touched my nose as I noticed blood again.

"Kegawa, you should totally use the remedy I gave you now." Kankuro stepped closer to analyze my situation. "You just left the hospital and got back to the field." Then, he wiped the red out of my face.

"Are you completely sure the collateral effects won't hurt me?"

Kankuro nodded happily as he realized he had fully convinced me to use it. He asked me to lay down somewhere I could relax, so I went back to the bed where Kikamaru had just woken up. Settled, the man prepared the cloth for me to breathe in.

"Kikamaru, take care of me, right?"

I stood staring at them as I noticed a strong lemon essence in the medicine, just like what I feel whenever Kankuro is close.

"S-So this is why you smell funny…" I commented while I caressed Kikamaru's fur.

"Yes. Don't worry, the acid part will make your nose more saline, in a way that will not just stop the nosebleed, but will prevent as the reaction will be slower than applying direct salt water. Also, it smells better." Kankuro gave me a warm smile when he demonstrated his wisdom in medicine.

"Thank you, Kankuro." I said accomplished by a yawn. His appearance was fading from my sight, and instead of a man in black with purple makeup, colors started to appear to me in sequences I've never seen before. When I breathed in, it started with the spins that made my eyes roll back and the ceiling fade, but then blues and reds got me swimming falling into pieces. My body was completely numb when I tried to feel my whole body moving through the world, so I asked myself why I was even existing. I was seeing many things in the same time, the reason why I didn't even have time to describe everything I recognized.

At least, finally I wasn't torturing myself with my problems.


	18. Decide

My eyes recognized something like a big dark blur above me as I tried to move my arms, wrapped by the fur I presumed to be Kikamaru's. I was glad that my dog stood with me in this trip, because I wasn't sure what just happened while asleep. I touched my nose, confirming that the medicine worked better than I expected, then turned my eyes around to see if I was still in the same room.

"K-Kikamaru...?" I stroked her head, waiting for a response. The tail was raised, gesturing that she was awake.

"Alright?" My dog barked softly to make me comfortable. Unluckily, when I stared at her eyes, I remembered why I was there.

"I don't know, I guess?" I got up to see through the window how was the weather. I bet it was close to midday, because my sleepy eyes hurt when I glanced at the blue sky. It was beautifully dangerous, together with the heat of the desert.

Strangely, my body was feeling just like home. I wasn't fatigued at all, something I could brag by my mood.

I took a shower before leaving the empty house. The lemon essence was still in my nose and even knowing it would be a useful medicine, I had the urge to wash it off. Maybe I was complaining too much, as usual. Kikamaru tried to make things easier for me, but I couldn't ignore the fact that I had to decide today what I was going to do. Facing Tsunade or my clan, which of them could be worse?

I stood my entire lunch thinking about that as I ripped my beef with my teeth, in a tent next to the political building. The other customers gazed with disgust the way I was eating with my dog, so I tried to behave myself. The last thing I wanted now was getting attention, even knowing I would have to go against my own nature and clan trait. Kikamaru stopped eating when she noticed my discomfort and raised her paw.

"What, we, do?" She whispered in low barks, and I leaned over to hear.

"You know I am still thinking." I whispered back, looking at the people who were already minding their own business again. "But I guess we will have to go back. Maybe we'll be lucky and will have an option when Tsunade understands what happened."

Kikamaru grumbled.

"Know, Tsunade, will, not, help, if, did, not, yet."

"We don't have an option. Give me a better way, then." I replied. Kikamaru had a point, because after everyone who could and would help me tried to convince her, she didn't move a finger, I had my doubts if anything would be better when the problem is on its climax. However, what else could I do?

"Leave, Gaara?" My dog swallowed even the bones of her meat to ask. "Can't, back."

I stood in silence, I haven't thought of it like that. Maybe I was fooling myself into an illusion where I wouldn't care about leaving him, or that I would see him again. In this moment, I could see everything he was doing for me, in first place. The last conversation that we had, I was almost begging him to be my teacher again. It would be so selfish to leave.

However, selfishness was my middle name.

"Gaara doesn't see me for a long time since I was at the hospital. He does not care." I tried to make my words as true as I could in my head. Would be easier this way.

"As, you, wish." Kikamaru ended the dialogue.

I paid our lunch and we headed to Temari's house again. I glanced for the last time the Kazekage Office's window, hoping for Gaara to appear. My mind and heart were screaming for him to appear, because, yes, I was missing him and wanted someone to talk that wasn't my dog. However, of course, he didn't. I also considered entering in the building again, but remembering the rampage in the last time I did kept me away from the idea.

We were only two lost dogs in the world.

When we got in the house, I made sure nobody was there using Kikamaru's ears. Mine weren't as developed as hers, and the place was so saturated with their smells that I wouldn't be able to notice them. I didn't want to explain anyone why I was packing my things, after everything I made this family do for me. I know I was being selfish, and for a moment I felt like these people were more of caring people than my whole clan. My cousin would never try to train me without harming me in purpose, or with the patience like Gaara. My mother would never cheer me up saying that I am not behind anyone, and that I will figure my things and succeed, like Kankuro, and my aunt would never try to talk with me before threating me, like Temari, even knowing we have issues.

I waited until sunset to leave, when the streets would be clean and empty. I was with everything I had, but I felt like I had lost everything in the way to the gate, that wasn't actually a gate, but a gap in the sand wall that surrounds Sunagakure. There were many guards, people I couldn't escape from being seen, so I just accepted and hoped for everybody to just not care about me when I approached.

Strangely, the native bugs were already singing, and even being loud, they alone couldn't keep the scene from being quiet.

"Kegawa, what are you doing here?" A familiar voice echoed in the silent scene, and we turned around to see Temari walking towards me.

I sighed.

"You won, Temari." I said with a harsh and sad tone at the same time. "I am getting back to Konoha."

Temari looked at me from my feet to my head, then put her hand on her waist.

"I thought you were more stubborn than this. I have to admit, I didn't expect it."

The blonde smiled, but I wasn't fully convinced about her true thoughts. I analyzed her, and noticed that she also had a backpack.

"Where are you going?" I asked, pointing to her back.

"Oh, I am going to train in Konoha." She started to walk again. When she passed through me, turned around and completed. "To become a Jounin, you know."

"I see." Kikamaru resumed her way to the gate, but I stood in my place, only turning my neck to see them.

"Come, Kegawa. Let's go to Konoha." Temari gestured to follow her, and that was what I did. Then, the three of us approached the guards who were charged by the identification of travelers. There was a sand ninja wearing a mask like he was going through a sand storm on the other side of the table.

"Take care, miss Temari." He stamped her pass and she signed that she was leaving, but when my time came, the guard got up in a serious expression. Then, all the other guards did the same.

"Kazekage!"

"What?" I turned around without understanding, and all I saw was Gaara coming closer to the gate. My whole body froze with this unplanned situation, and even though Kikamaru was relaxed as usual, her calmness didn't affect me.

"Kegawa?" His eyes yelled surprise at me. "What are you doing here?"

I still couldn't move, my heart was beating fast and my cheeks were burning.

"She is getting back to Konoha, just like she should." Temari answered for me merciless.

Gaara got even closer, and the only thing that made me unlock was Kikamaru's whispers in barks. She said that she knew it was going to happen sooner or later.

"I came to ask Temari to bring news about the Inuzuka clan for you, but seems to be not necessary." Gaara asked killing me with his cold green eyes. I could see his negative feeling flowing in the moment. I was being selfish and he was feeling betrayed. "Did you solve everything with your family?"

"Doesn't matter, Gaara. She needs to go now." Temari raised her voice.

"I wasn't talking with you, Temari." He replied with a similar tone, with a pitch of impatience. He crossed his arms.

I looked at Kikamaru.

"Go, ahead." She barked. I sighed, then approached to Gaara's ears. I followed the movement of his iris watching me get closer, and a shiver caught me when I felt the sand that surrounds him stop me there.

"Gaara, can I talk to you, in private?" I whispered, disguising my nervousness.

"Of course." Monotonously, he answered me and gestured me to follow. Temari and Kikamaru stood where they were while we distanced ourselves from the exit of Sunagakure.

"She has to go! Gaara!" Ravenous, Temari yelled.

Gaara turned to see her, then ignored as he led the way for me. That girl was going to eat me alive later, if she got the chance.

As I noticed earlier, the streets were calm and quiet, behind the sounds of insects and maybe some bigger creatures like snakes and lizards. The path was getting darker as the time passed, transforming the sunset light into yellow and red-light poles on every corner.

If it wasn't by Gaara's breathing, I could say that I was alone in Sunagakure.

"What do you want to tell me, Kegawa?" He asked me without looking at me, crossing his arms and with a lowered speed. I confess that by now, I was a little afraid of saying anything. I knew Gaara, but he was still giving me chills.

"I didn't want to say this in front of Temari." I tried to make me believe that it was the only reason why I wanted to be alone. "But she is right, I have to go."

He remained in silence, but his expression was showing more attention for what I was trying to say.

"I would never think of leaving here if it wasn't important. I didn't give up." Subtly, I raised my tone.

"I do not have a doubt about it." His commentary made me create a sign of a smile in my face. I was relieved. "But I have doubts about why you came here if you were going to betray me."

He stopped walking, standing behind me.

"What do you mean?" I asked, because I was totally confused. Then, I turned my vision around. As I read Gaara's appearance, I started to understand, because my dog was right. His fists were trembling.

"You were leaving in the sunset. You didn't tell anyone about it. You don't let me see your letters." He started counting all these things using his finger. "Kegawa! What are you even doing with me?"

My heart was beating so fast I thought I was passing out.

"I-It wasn't my idea. I was following Kikamaru!" Impulsive, I answered something that I regretted when the sound echoed in my mouth.

"Stop blaming her. We both know you didn't stop your lies after our last talk." He sighed. "If you want to leave, go ahead. I won't stop you anymore."

"But... I don't want to, Gaara." I let the wind take my whisper for him to hear. "I didn't tell you because I was ashamed. Ashamed to have these problems that I can't solve."

"Why would you be ashamed?"

"Don't you remember when you called me 'spoiled child'? After that day, I realized that I had to do certain things alone to grow up."

He stared at me speechless, probably because of the way I interpreted his earlier words.

"Kegawa..." Gaara approached me to look at my sharp eyes, he was delaying some seconds to say more than whispering my name. "What happened? I promise, I never meant to leave you alone." His hands touched lightly my shoulders, and I drew him a slow hug. His sand bothered me at first, but when it understood I was no harm, calmed down. "I'm sorry."

I closed my eyes in the minutes I was in Gaara's arms. His warmth made me feel comfortable again, something I was hoping for a long time. By now, I wanted to say how I missed talking to him, but it wasn't the right time. Maybe he understood by the way I was facing him fearless in this situation and being unpolite enough to touch him in a discussion. I collected breath to tell everything in details, since the day I left until the letters that I read in the afternoon.

He listened everything in silence until I completely finish, to then say that nothing would have ever happened if I let him take them in first place. He quickly said that had an idea, so asked me to go to Temari's house and leave my things there, then go meet him in the Suna Aviary.

I was in my way.


	19. Confess

Since my arrival at the Aviary, I could hear birds slowly raising their mumbles. It's not usual to hear messenger birds after sunset, and because of that, I had my proof about someone's presence inside the building. I walked into to see many birds flying to their houses, like they were relaxed until I appeared. Next to the window, there was Gaara, holding a paper with a hawk on his arm. He noticed my footsteps as I approached, and he didn't move to show me what he was doing.

His image was heart-melting, standing here at this time at night, waiting for me while his eyes were reflecting the moonlight in greenish.

"I bet you never came here to send a message. This is Tobimaru, one of our fastest messenger hawks." He gave me a focused smile as he lent me his paper. "See if it is enough. To appease both your family and the Hokage."

I stared at his calligraphy before actually reading it, still feeling powerless as I needed this fragile piece of paper from another person to fix my diplomacy problems. It was full of formalities, complicated names and phrases that only diplomats would clearly understand. My name was one of the few things I could comprehend. Not that I was dumb and unlettered, but it was like it wasn't made for people like me to read. I imagine that they used to write like that to prevent people from getting the letter and understanding if it was something between top secret codes and stealthy messages.

"What is the purpose of it?" I swiped my fingers over the textured signature under the text. Came from the Kazekage, so fancy.

"To make you our disciple, resume your training assuring that we'll be responsible for you."

"Who are 'we'?" I asked.

Gaara put the hawk on its feeder and leaned over the window looking at me.

"Sunagakure and I." He smiled at me to continue. "You will officially be an exchange student, as we will use our alliance with Konoha to train a ninja here. If you are strong enough, you will turn into a great kunoichi, everyone will see how great the power of the desert is, and how ninjas can be greater here. All in favor of our village's image."

"I thought you didn't care about image."

"I personally don't. However, any alliance is based also on image, and above anything, Suna needs friendship. I need to show that the dark days of the desert have ended."

I tried to accomplish what Gaara was idealizing. He was very sweet seeing all the advantages if things were as he expected, but I think he was going too far. I never thought he was going to be a strategist when it comes to social and political plans, at least not like that.

"… And everything will be this way, because... I … am here?" I asked slowly. Firstly, I thought it was going to be a good plan, but I could think about one million things to prevent it from walking in a straight line. Nobody could assure I was going to be a famous kunoichi, or that people would see Sunagakure like a powerful ninja trainer.

"I am counting that you are going to stand out."

"But what if..."

I was stopped by his stare. All the birds silenced as Gaara's footsteps towards me echoed in the room.

"I can see you feel powerless, so I am giving somewhere to improve by yourself. You are here for a reason, don't depart from your way."

"You are right..." I smiled at him, looking at his green eyes. My inner side was shouting at me to get closer again and my heart was beating fast. It was a low voice all the time he was with me, but in this exact moment, I could hear it very well. "So, I am going to be a desert-forest-kunoichi-mix." I giggled as I lowered my head.

"I hope you take this as a political mission. No more excuses, Kegawa."

He tried to sound harsh, but I could notice he was being hopeful about it. He melted my dog heart.

"I will, my Kazekage."

Gaara smiled, then turned to his initial position, staring at the moonlight by the window.

"That's the spirit. I'm glad we won't have any more problems about it."

We were alone now. No matter how many hawks were with us, or if Sunagakure wasn't sleeping yet. This scene was all about us, and I felt pleasure just to think that I had this type of illusion with him. Gaara was the sweetest now, and I wanted to show him my devotion. No more secrets, no more betrayal. I gave the letter back, he finished setting it up to send it and Tobimaru flew from the window, on the way to Konohagakure.

"Take care, Tobimaru." I smiled as I waved at Tobimaru. Then, I turned back inside the Aviary, to find Gaara distracted next to me.

I almost had forgotten how he was handsome when I wasn't stressed out.

My body was warm, and even though I was getting used to be nervous around him, I wanted to end doubts for good. The night was still illuminating his eyes, and I think they were gazing at me, eventually, followed by a generous bright smile.

After staring at him, I stepped closer. I wanted to touch him so bad, and I only hoped he wouldn't be bothered with it. I should have thought that I was dealing with a Kazekage, and not some ordinary Yui from Konoha. However, for me, there was no such thing as titles. We were only Kegawa and Gaara.

"Gaara..." I whispered, and directed my hand to his cheek, almost touching his warm skin. I wasn't thinking, only being led by my impulsive actions, and maybe that's how I wanted it to be. His eyes turned his vision from the night to my face, unexpecting anything from me. "Thank you."

Seemed like I was in slow motion, and maybe I was. Gaara was as paralyzed as I was innumerous times when I saw him as perfect as he always is, so I stood on my toes to reach his height, then approached my face to his. I could feel his warm breath heating my cheeks. Was he as nervous as I was?

I was hoping to feel the pain of the sand stopping me, but it never came to block me from him. It just let me lightly touch my lips on his, having a bit of flavor of his mouth on mine. At this moment, my eyes were already closed, and my both hands were holding him to me. I returned to see him surprised. His expression seemed to ask me what I was doing, but then I noticed his hand was holding mine.

I could barely feel it anymore.

I discretely licked my own lips to discover how Gaara tasted like, resulting in something spicy, but freezing at the same moment.

"Kegawa?"

For the first time, I saw Gaara's face take a reddish color just like mine, making me more relieved by knowing I wasn't nervous by myself. I could almost hear our hearts pounding in the same rhythm. His eyes were trembling, and I confess it was hard to accomplish them when my whole body was trembling too.

I didn't know what to do now, facing him after gesturing what I wanted to do, even though I denied for plenty of time.

"I'm sorry." I impulsively said while trying to hide myself behind my embarrassed expression, and like this we stood for some minutes. I wanted to run away, but if I did, everything that I said wouldn't matter.

"Why...?" He closed his eyes. I had the impression he was getting furious. "Why did you do this, Kegawa?"

I almost choked myself holding my breath after his angry expression, but I was going to face him anyway. I inhaled and clenched my fists to gather strength.

"Because I'm in love with you, Gaara."

He crossed his arms. His eyes were fixed on my eyes, but I had the feeling it wasn't friendly.

"Why are you still lying? You've already got what you want." He said harshly.

I stepped back, horrified.

"What?" I widened my eyes, raising my head.

"It's enough, I'm tired of your lies."

His voice hurt me like bullets right in my chest.

"I'm not lying. I'd never do such thing now. About this." I tried to convince him, almost tearing my voice apart without raising my tone.

"Kegawa, nobody can love me. You already know." He lowered his tone, closing his eyes.

I put my hands in front of me, and all my sudden angriness turned into tears. Rage tears, the most toxic of them all.

And all of them started to wet it.

I was opening my whole heart for him and being shot again. His accusations offended me, but they weren't baseless. I thought about turning back and giving up already, but it was too soon. I had to fight back.

I only had to figure out how.

I stepped forward again, drying my hands on my skirt and giving them to his. I didn't care if he was furious, I had to deal with it. Maybe he wasn't scaring me that much when I actually faced him. Gaara slowly opened his eyes again, freezing me with cold green. Too bad I couldn't do the same with the red of mine. Then, I led our hands to my chest, right where I could feel the ache.

"Can you feel it, Gaara?"

I wouldn't let his eyes escape from me this time.

"Yes."

I smiled, but I felt like I was going to fall apart if it took too long.

"It's not usually that fast, or strong."

"What am I supposed to do about it? Are you sick?"

His momentous insensibility chocked me, and I couldn't keep myself from letting the tears to myself again.

"It's beating like this because I'm with you." I sighed, trying to swallow my crying. "Normally, I am very calm and even lazy. I really try not to care about everyone else, and nothing ever gets me. At least while I'm not being forced. Then, when you appeared, I started to feel like that. For days, for weeks, I tried to convince me it is ridiculous, but when I'm with you, I stand in alert. I get nervous, my heart beats like it never did, and I all want is being next to you." I held our hands stronger, taking them close to my lips. "I want to be with you, Gaara."

Gaara stood looking at me for some time. I didn't know what he was thinking, because it was still difficult to read his expressions. I tried to control my tears, even if I had to scratch my whole face with my claws until it bleeds only to contain them.

My hand was trembling, or was his?

"Kegawa..." Gaara whispered, driving our shaking hands to his chest. "Would it be possible that I feel the same?"

My whole body followed my arms, arriving at his warm chest. Later, all I remember was a sound. Only one sound that I couldn't describe it very well, but it was something like sand falling inside an hourglass, right when the bottom side is about to complete.

Then, a dark blur came.


End file.
